The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.
"Recently, there have been discussions about ending Grove College's century-old tradition of all-female education by admitting male students into our programs. At a recent faculty meeting, a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. However, Grove students, both past and present, are against the idea of coeducation. Eighty percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumnae who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Therefore, we recommend maintaining Grove College's tradition of all-female education. We predict that keeping the college all-female will improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
whether Grove college should maintain all-femal education tradition has been complicated and debated in its implication. The college's governming committee recommend doing so, since they predict that keeping the college all-female will improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college fincially. To buttress their argument, the committee members cite the eivdences of ideas of coeducation from both past and present students. Although the recommendation has its own merit, it does not necessarily have the predicted result due to uncertaining or even invalidity among survey.
To begin with, in order to fully evaluate the argument, the question that requires answers from the author is whether survey results from students can present the true ideas from students. The author supposed that eight percent of students wanted the school to remain all female, but what is the total number of this sample size? what are the class standings of those participants? How was the survey conducted, by face-to-face interviewing or anayounous online vote? if most of students took part in this suevey are graduating seniors, then opinions from them might not represent all ideas of current students. Instead, it will beneficial if freshmen's opinions are equally respected. if the survey is 10-page long with considerable unrelated questions, students might be tired of answering every question carefully, thereby reducing the credibility of survey results.
second, another question needs to be answered is that whether keeping the college all-female will improve moral among students. since moral standards of students are depened on several factors, coeducation cannot fully justify this issue. For example, if the major impetus to improve the moral of groven college relies on educational quality and honor code, then emphasizing more teaching quality and educational resources might be more meaningful than keeping all-female of mix gender in the college. if, on the contrary, the gender issues can affect the morale of most students, then the recommendation mentioned above is wisedom. To illustrate, when girls are surrounded by other girls, they are more likely to gain the sense of belonging and care from each other, thus becoming more confident and ethusiastic.
Last but not least, the author should provide more information about the issue that whether all-female education will convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially. it is plausible that alumnae devote money or resources to college if they are wealth. Therefore, financialy fundings from alumnae are mainly based on career prosperity and potential of every graduate. if though all-female education, students can form better connection and would be more easily recommened to better jobs or higher positions, then its is likely that there will be more financial devotion. On the other hand, if it is more related to economical condition of the nation, then more financial support can be expected only if this country is experiencing boom, which cannot be explained by the mode of college. Hence, only if the committee explore motivation behind financial support from alumae can we better evaluate the expected result from this recommendation.
To sum up, as it stands, the aforementioned recommendation from groven college commitee is not a easy issue to discuss. To strengthen the predicted result, the author ought to offer evidences as follows: first, whether the survey results from both current students and alumae are convincing; second, whether all-female mode will improve moral among students; last, whether financial support from alumae is correlated to tradition of all-female education.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
The arguments are not exactly right on the point.
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samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/following-recommendation-was-mad…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 568 350
No. of Characters: 3072 1500
No. of Different Words: 268 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.882 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.408 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.752 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 250 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 196 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 132 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 91 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.571 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.824 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.581 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Whether
whether Grove college should maintain all-femal...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 331, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...s the total number of this sample size? what are the class standings of those partic...
^^^^
Line 3, column 469, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...interviewing or anayounous online vote? if most of students took part in this suev...
^^
Line 3, column 472, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the students') or simply say ''most students''.
Suggestion: most of the students; most students
...erviewing or anayounous online vote? if most of students took part in this suevey are graduating...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 686, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...eshmens opinions are equally respected. if the survey is 10-page long with conside...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Second
...g the credibility of survey results. second, another question needs to be answered ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 129, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Since
...male will improve moral among students. since moral standards of students are depened...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 503, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ll-female of mix gender in the college. if, on the contrary, the gender issues ca...
^^
Line 5, column 541, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
.... if, on the contrary, the gender issues can affect the morale of most students, ...
^^
Line 7, column 180, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...eep supporting the college financially. it is plausible that alumnae devote money ...
^^
Line 7, column 381, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...perity and potential of every graduate. if though all-female education, students c...
^^
Line 9, column 96, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ion from groven college commitee is not a easy issue to discuss. To strengthen th...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, hence, if, second, so, then, therefore, thus, for example, on the contrary, to begin with, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 55.5748502994 135% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3148.0 2260.96107784 139% => OK
No of words: 568.0 441.139720559 129% => OK
Chars per words: 5.54225352113 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.88187981987 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82776952737 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 280.0 204.123752495 137% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.492957746479 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 987.3 705.55239521 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 2.70958083832 369% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.22255489022 261% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.6265494509 57.8364921388 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.166666667 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6666666667 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.45833333333 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0816791997308 0.218282227539 37% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0289271624812 0.0743258471296 39% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0409702884019 0.0701772020484 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0560374213354 0.128457276422 44% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0462581674248 0.0628817314937 74% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.15 12.5979740519 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.97 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 151.0 98.500998004 153% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.