The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid — a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil — as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
It is stated in newsletter that due to cold people remain absent from their workplace and school as it is most common reason given on absente. West Meria Public Health Council recommends the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, to prevent cold and lower absenteeism. Additionally, they also support argument by stating study report which conclude that place where fish consumption is more there people visit the doctor only once or twice a year for treatment of cold. However, before working on this recommendation some question must be answer.
To begin with, how many people will like to consume Ichthaid as it is derived from fish oil? As there are many type of people some are pure vegetarian and some are non-vegetarian, non-vegetarian type of people will not have any problem to consume it but vegetarian people will abstain it and they might even oppose it. Some vegetarian people are so sensitive that they cannot bare the smell of non-veg food in such situation they will not like to work at their work place. For example, if a vegetarian person is sitting with non-vegetarian person for a lunch in a break and if this person sees his friend taking this supplement which is derived from fish oil, he will not like that and he may even go empty stomach. If this happens to be true than this idea of giving Ichthaid to everyone don’t hold water and it fails in such situation.
Secondly, have you consider geographical location and climate of East Meria before coming to conclusion that due to more fish consumption people don’t go to doctor for treatment of cold? In this case geographical location and climate plays important role in human health. Maybe climate of East Meria is good for human health so less number of peoples are getting ill and due to this less number of peoples are visiting doctor for cold. For example, climate and environment of East Meria is clean, pollution rate is low and there are more number of trees so oxygen level is also high in such healthy environment it is blatant that less number of people will fall ill. If this case is true than study report which says that consuming more fish prevent cold is false.
Finally, why you think that cold is the only reason of remains absent? There may be many other reasons due to which people at their workplace and school are remaining absent. For example, due to other illness such as fever, cough, stomach or head ache people are remaining absent and this Ichthaid cannot cure all this illness. If this is true then it seems profligate to invest time and money on this fish oil supplements.
In conclusion, if the question stated above is answered then it would strengthen the argument and recommendation would be revaluated.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 478 350
No. of Characters: 2227 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.676 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.659 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.481 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.978 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.566 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.134 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 107, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun type seems to be countable; consider using: 'many types'.
Suggestion: many types
... is derived from fish oil? As there are many type of people some are pure vegetarian and ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 668, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...at less number of people will fall ill. If this case is true than study report whi...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, for example, in conclusion, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 28.8173652695 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2286.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 476.0 441.139720559 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.8025210084 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67091256922 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54358934623 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.453781512605 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 704.7 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.5970939656 57.8364921388 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.315789474 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0526315789 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.10526315789 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0879812234142 0.218282227539 40% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0333256991749 0.0743258471296 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.040238241508 0.0701772020484 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0539914274209 0.128457276422 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0613366443016 0.0628817314937 98% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.86 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.33 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.