The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company.
"According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising."Based on a survey conducted by their own marketing department and certain comments by some reviewers, the director made flawed reasoning and drew unconvincing conclusions about the problems responsible for their shrinking market.
The claim that advertising should be boosted in order to reach a wider public with Super Screen Movies' films may seem logical at first glance. However, while supporting his thesis the adverting director relies on unsupported assumptions that reviewers are honest while writing their report and that advertise will reach people in the right way. Therefore, his argument is illogical and fundamentally flawed.
First, the author argues that, since the positive reviews are increased during the past years, people are appreciating more and more the quality of the service provided by Super Screen Movie Production Company. However, reviewers often fill the report fast in order to lose less time and, thus, they are likely to report positive impressions even if they are not happy with the service provided. For instance, it would be possible that, during the past year, the company has forced its clients to make a review on all the film watched and, for this reason, it would be unsurprising to observe a grow in positive reviews. For these reasons, in order to decide whether his idea can be reasonable, we must have more information about how the reviews have been taken during the past year.
In addition, while saying that more money should be invested in advertising in order to boost his company's own business the advising director has not provided any data about the real impact that advertisement have on clients in this particular field. Moreover, since the increasing in positive reviews had not a positive impact on the company business it may be possible that people do not care about them and, thus, they are not likely to listen to the advertisment as well.
In conclusion, if the author will provide deeper information and studies concerning the real impact of advertisment it would be reasonable to invest a great share of the company's budget on that.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 311 350
No. of Characters: 1525 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.199 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.904 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.554 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.1 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.257 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.9 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.394 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.646 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 594, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...on, it would be unsurprising to observe a grow in positive reviews. For these reasons,...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, thus, well, while, as for, for instance, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1565.0 2260.96107784 69% => OK
No of words: 311.0 441.139720559 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03215434084 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.19942759058 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59481745312 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 204.123752495 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.533762057878 0.468620217663 114% => OK
syllable_count: 490.5 705.55239521 70% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 19.7664670659 51% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 31.0 22.8473053892 136% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 50.6856981801 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 156.5 119.503703932 131% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.1 23.324526521 133% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.7 5.70786347227 205% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166302030604 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0687637913828 0.0743258471296 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0503452408362 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0963144298162 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0424207426659 0.0628817314937 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.8 14.3799401198 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.01 48.3550499002 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 12.197005988 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.49 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 98.500998004 63% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 11.1389221557 129% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.