The developers of projects of all types, in their enthusiasm tend to focus heavily on the positives of their planned projects while overlooking the possible negatives. It requires a balanced view to analyze it pragmatically. A balanced analysis brings out too many unwarranted assumptions on the part of the developers here in their points towards their club C Note.
To start with, the developers have considered the long distance to the nearest club as a strong selling point for their club. This cannot be used as a strong point without getting the data on the frequency of club visits by the locals. The question that needs to be answered here is "Do the locals visit Jazz clubs so often that traveling 60 miles to the nearest one makes it a pain point for them?" Another point to be considered here is whether the local population has a sizeable number of Jazz fans or not.
To add to the points about fans of Jazz in the region, the developers bring in the popularity of Monroe Jazz festival which was apparently attended by over 100,000 people. That the developers consider all/most of the 100,000 people to be locals is a very weak assumption on their part. Music festivals tend to bring in fans from distant regions - including those from other countries. So, attributing such a large participation to regional population alone does not appear to be logical. In addition, the developers mention that several well known Jazz musicians live in Monroe which further weakens the point about the participants of the festivals being from Monroe alone as the musicians would have fans from various regions.
Since the developers have painted Monroe as a town popular for Jazz music, we should analyze if there is a shortage of clubs in Monroe before assuming that those people would find a need to travel 60 miles to visit a new club. The statement of developers about spending by Jazz fans' spending is akin to shooting in the air as the developers have not provided any details of the survey which matter a lot like the age group of the participants, income brackets etc.
To conclude, the pitch offered by the developers has too many assumptions to considered seriously. To strengthen their argument, many of the loose ends will have to be tied. To start with, the frequency of visit of the local jazz fans need to be considered to ensure that there would be enough footfalls to be profitable. The data on number of clubs around Monroe and whether fans from Monroe would find a need to travel 60 miles need to be obtained. Also, the spending capacity of the local Jazz fans should be considered instead of those nationwide. Without these improvements, the argument appears very unreasonable.
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
more arguments wanted.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 464 350
No. of Characters: 2193 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.641 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.726 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.611 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.724 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.543 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 385, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e not provided any details of the survey which matter a lot like the age group of...
^^
Line 9, column 175, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...of the loose ends will have to be tied. To start with, the frequency of visit of t...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, apparently, but, if, look, so, then, thus, well, while, as to, in addition, to start with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 11.1786427146 18% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 82.0 55.5748502994 148% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2254.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 463.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86825053996 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63868890866 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70037857367 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.453563714903 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 695.7 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.7516760986 57.8364921388 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.631578947 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.3684210526 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.287669919765 0.218282227539 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.089957084047 0.0743258471296 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0691642215446 0.0701772020484 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.167778100034 0.128457276422 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0624879511162 0.0628817314937 99% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.