An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
The prompt is about an international development organization which is trying to reconcile between vitamin A deficiency among the people of the nation Tagus. A new breed of millet was developed to fight against the deficiency. In support of the argument, the farmers will be paid a certain amount to farm this millet. The argument is rife with holes that leads to an illogical hypothesis.
To begin with, Though, it is stated that the seed of this millet is expensive, the farmers will get subsidies to grow this new type of millet. Now, does the subsidies offset the higher price of the seeds? It is not mentioned clearly. There are three possible cases for this ambiguous statement. At first, the subsidies may surpass the expensive price of the seeds which results in a positive reinforcement among the farmers to farm this millet. Secondly, it may equally neutralize the higher price of the seeds. This does not give a incentive to the farmers to grow this, but it is up to their decisions. They may grow the new millet in their farming fields or may not give up their usual farming crops. Thirdly, the subsidies are less than the higher price of the seeds. Ergo, farmers probably not going to farm this millet. Therefore, a proper and clear statements should be given. Unequivocal numbers of the prices of the seeds and the subsidies to have a better support for the argument.
Additionally, millet is a staple food for the people of Tagus and they will consume this new variety of millet too. This is a big assumption. Just because one type of millet is favored by the people of Tagus does not necessarily implies other types of millets would be appreciated just as much as the former type. For example, we assume that people of a certain city consumes meat burgers of a certain type. There may have been other eclectic burgers available in that town, but only one certain type of burgers are preferred by the people. Otherwise, all the burger frenchises around the world would be profitable. If any of these are true, the argument does not hold any water.
Thirdly, the new breed millet is high in vitamin A. This statements needs valid empirical analysis that supports that indeed the new breed of millet has abundant amount of vitamin A. Without any study or research behind this new engineered millet, the argument falls apart. Proper statistical figures should also be provided. And a comparison with the usual millet and this new millet should also be provided to have a better understanding about it.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is flawed with numerous assumptions. These assumptions need to addressed with proper evidences to make the argument a cogent one. If truly, this millet is high with vitamin A, and the subsidies provide enough incentive to the farmers, then promotion of the millet will be a good cause.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 491 350
No. of Characters: 2300 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.707 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.684 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.505 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.931 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.714 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.517 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.461 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 99, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ion which is trying to reconcile between vitamin A deficiency among the people of...
^^
Line 3, column 532, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... price of the seeds. This does not give a incentive to the farmers to grow this, ...
^
Line 5, column 230, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'imply'
Suggestion: imply
...he people of Tagus does not necessarily implies other types of millets would be appreci...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 53, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: These
... new breed millet is high in vitamin A. This statements needs valid empirical analys...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, for example, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2369.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 491.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.82484725051 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70728369723 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59123172539 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.450101832994 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 737.1 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 19.7664670659 157% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.2510465195 57.8364921388 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 76.4193548387 119.503703932 64% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.8387096774 23.324526521 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.96774193548 5.70786347227 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.45827800602 0.218282227539 210% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.115299354042 0.0743258471296 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.10917806786 0.0701772020484 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.269277174402 0.128457276422 210% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.102163948956 0.0628817314937 162% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 14.3799401198 64% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 48.3550499002 134% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 12.197005988 66% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.38 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.76 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.