Many Mosac graduates gone to become well known and highly paid professional Musicians To support these recommendations they point out some three reasons

Essay topics:

Many Mosac graduates gone to become well known and highly paid professional Musicians. To support these recommendations, they point out some three reasons.

According to the Mosart school of Music website, Many Mosac graduates gone to become well known and highly paid professional Musicians. To support these recommendations, they point out some three reasons. These recommendations might seem to make a cogent case at first glance but on further scrutiny, one can easily be persuaded that it's not the credible case. The evidence on which it is based must be properly evaluated and the following two questions must be asked before applying recommendations.

Firstly, why all Mosac school welcomes the young stars at the ability and the age levels? In other words, there is no audition to attend school. However, there is no mentioned about the exact age limitations.

Further, The school offers all instructions as well as the genres, and rocks from classical to rock. Here mentioned only;y classical and rocks , Why only classical and rocks? In addition, they get further opportunity beyond classical and rocks in other paid professions.

Finally,The faculty of some of the most distinguished area includes it. here mentioned only some of the area, there is potential that most of the faculty does not include it, so only getting information from some of the faculty the conclusions drawn the original argument is significantly weakened and the conclusion does not hold water.

In conclusion, the argument that stands now is considerably flawed due to its reliance on some unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to answer three questions that are mentioned above and offer more evidence (perhaps in the form of a systematic research study) then it will be possible to fully evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendations, Otherwise, I will not be easily persuaded of the author's claims.

Votes
Average: 4.5 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...efore applying recommendations. Firstly, why all Mosac school welcomes t...
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Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...d about the exact age limitations. Further, The school offers all instructi...
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Line 8, column 148, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ere mentioned only;y classical and rocks , Why only classical and rocks? In additi...
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Line 10, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...and rocks in other paid professions. Finally,The faculty of some of the most ...
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Line 10, column 12, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , The
...n other paid professions. Finally,The faculty of some of the most distinguish...
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Line 10, column 28, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...fessions. Finally,The faculty of some of the most distinguished area includes it. he...
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Line 10, column 97, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...d area includes it. here mentioned only some of the area, there is potential that most of t...
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Line 10, column 213, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...de it, so only getting information from some of the faculty the conclusions drawn the origi...
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Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he conclusion does not hold water. In conclusion, the argument that stands ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, so, then, well, in addition, in conclusion, as well as, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1487.0 2260.96107784 66% => OK
No of words: 282.0 441.139720559 64% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27304964539 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09790868904 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00244835934 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 204.123752495 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.58865248227 0.468620217663 126% => OK
syllable_count: 459.9 705.55239521 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 72.0621896952 57.8364921388 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.214285714 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1428571429 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.07142857143 5.70786347227 141% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.223684192285 0.218282227539 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.077336877874 0.0743258471296 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.125824681132 0.0701772020484 179% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100479237558 0.128457276422 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.129515939748 0.0628817314937 206% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.72 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 98.500998004 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 284 350
No. of Characters: 1430 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.105 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.035 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.882 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.846 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.4 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.648 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5