"Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora's citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of Corpora's citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistake

While it may be true that the people of Corpora had cut down on the purchase of fitness-related products in response to a declining economy, the magazine article does not provide a cogent case for how a deteriorating economy could engender decline in fitness level. The conclusion is made based on very feeble grounds. Three stated and unstated assumptions need to be examined to further analyze what implications are for the argument if these assumptions prove unwarranted.

To begin with, the author concludes the declining physical fitness of Corpora based on a comparison between the “proportion” of people between two different eras. Maybe the population of people who did physical exercise always remained the same despite the fluctuations in the economy. It is possible that the decrease in proportion was the result of a massive influx from immigrants. If it were true, the author’s case would be weakened.

The author also assumes a direct correlation between computer owners and their fitness level. The more computer owners may be demographically clustered around major cities where fitness facilities are more possible. The author also maintains the conclusion simply because the fitness number was highest. Highest doesn’t mean the best. It may be simply the best among the worse. The argument will be weakened if the above argument were true.

Although, if it is assumed that the author was true to conclude the computers did not call forth declining health among the citizens, the author simply concludes that economic decline was responsible for the declining fitness levels. The author simply discards other possibilities. Maybe, there were fewer fresh vegetables available and people were forced to eat a lot of fast food. Maybe, there are not sufficient facilities for cycling or swimming which may be responsible for increased obesity. This is the major flaw in the argument and the author will need to provide evidence on why other factors were discarded.

In conclusion, the argument, as it stands is flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted conclusion. If the author can buttress these assumptions based on more concrete evidence, then it will be possible to fully evaluate the cause the declining health.

Votes
Average: 7.2 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 217, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e fitness facilities are more possible. The author also maintains the conclusion si...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, so, then, while, in conclusion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1911.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 359.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32311977716 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35284910392 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98190683548 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.526462395543 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 609.3 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 59.4887384301 57.8364921388 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.55 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.95 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.25 5.70786347227 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0778263620213 0.218282227539 36% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.025831178731 0.0743258471296 35% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0409827697718 0.0701772020484 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0495823075423 0.128457276422 39% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0412541642941 0.0628817314937 66% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 45.76 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.28 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 360 350
No. of Characters: 1842 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.356 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.117 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.748 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.586 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.518 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.068 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5