The writer suggests that Nature's way new franchise in the town of Plainville will be successful depending on unreliable assumptions. While it might be true that many people who exercise and work out on regular basis tend to live a healthy lifestyle, it is not guaranteed that stores which sell health-related products will be very successful in a community where these residents live.
First, the writer stated that residents of Plainville tend to exercise regularly according to the merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. Residents may enjoy activities which require running or walking such as; hiking, bike riding, or different sports, at the same time, there are not exercising to be healthy. Even if, residents tend to exercise to lose weight or to stay fit and active, this doesn't necessarily mean they eat healthy food and use healthy products. This weakens the writer's assumption that residents tend to buy healthy products regularly.
Furthermore, if residents lead healthy lives in Plainville, it is not a proof of the writer hypothesis that they are going to shop from healthy products stores. For example, many people eat healthy food which they make it at home and many healthy diets contain foods which you can find in any store, not specifically healthy-products stores.
Second, what if the increasing numbers in the local health club and the weight training and aerobics classes are due to the increase in the residents' number? what if there are some members who are non-residents in these classes?. The writer would strengthen his argument if he included the rate of residents' number change in his statement, or if he excluded other factors affecting this increase, to support his point.
Finally, requiring schoolchildren to participate in a fitness-for-life program will emphasize the benefit of regular exercising but it not surely promote their interest in regular exercising, or elevate their tendency to a healthy lifestyle. For example, many students may not be interested in exercising when they finish school. Also, even if they adopted a healthy lifestyle, this will not make them potential customers for Nature's way exclusively for the same reasons which stated previously. Moreover, the argument of writer would be more cognitive if he mentioned that there is a lack of healthy food at local stores.
In conclusion, while Nature's Way franchises tend to be most profitable in areas where people tend to live healthily, the writer did not have sufficient proofs that the residents of Plainville lead a healthy lifestyle.
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK, but with more reasons
argument 4 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 420 350
No. of Characters: 2138 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.527 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.09 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.816 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 159 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.867 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.374 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.658 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.146 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 445, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... weight or to stay fit and active, this doesnt necessarily mean they eat healthy food ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 534, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'writers'' or 'writer's'?
Suggestion: writers'; writer's
... use healthy products. This weakens the writers assumption that residents tend to buy h...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 159, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...o the increase in the residents number? what if there are some members who are non-r...
^^^^
Line 7, column 190, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
... number? what if there are some members who are non-residents in these classes?. The wr...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 219, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...of Plainville lead a healthy lifestyle.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, if, may, moreover, second, so, then, while, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2195.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 419.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.23866348449 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52432199235 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8863622781 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.498806682578 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 675.9 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.1795214704 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.1875 119.503703932 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.1875 23.324526521 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.4375 5.70786347227 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.172223036955 0.218282227539 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0625509608007 0.0743258471296 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0719380785284 0.0701772020484 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112292579702 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0960249880613 0.0628817314937 153% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.41 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.77 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.