In the newsletter, the Old Dairy stockholders were advised to sell their shares and other investors - not to purchase the stock in that company at all. The authors cite a recent survey in their support. The results of the survey revealed that 80 percent of the respondents wish to reduce their intake of food high in fats and cholesterol. This fact, according to the authors, will impede the company sales and, as a result, profits. However, unless certain questions are answered, this recommendation cannot be evaluated and, therefore, considered cogent.
The first question to be asked is if the sample of the survey was representative. The results of a survey can never be taken for granted unless its background is known. In other words, surveys can only be trusted when we know exactly how many people participated, from what cities or regions, their general profile, etc. For that matter, it can be the case that the participants of this particular survey were people who took more care about their health or who were interested in the food that they consume. Undoubtedly, the opinion of a single group cannot represent well diverse tastes and opinions of all consumers.
Secondly, what is the actual ratio of Old Dairy Industries products high in fat and cholesterol to its other products? In the newsletter, the number of the products from the first group indicated as “many”, but we are not given the exact numbers. In fact, it is entirely possible that the ratio is not high at all. Perhaps, the authors were simply aggrandizing the number to convince others. So, even if the answer to the first question is positive, the recommendation still cannot be considered sound as no numbers are provided.
Finally, how much profit are the products high in fats and cholesterol actually accountable for? Let’s consider that the above-mentioned questions were answered in favor of the recommendation. However, it falsely assumes that those products have a large part in the company's profits. Perhaps, they are much cheaper than other Old Dairy products and, therefore, their contribution to the overall profits is neglectable. At the same time, there could be other products which are more expensive and whose weight in the company’s profit is higher. As a consequence, Old Dairy’s sales would not decrease as dramatically as it is stated in the newsletter.
In the final analysis, the recommendation from the newsletter is unconvincing as it stands as it lacks crucial information. Unless we have access to the answers to the above-mentioned questions which support the recommendation, it cannot be considered cogent.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 430 350
No. of Characters: 2130 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.554 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.953 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.853 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.545 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.59 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.288 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.49 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.064 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 406, Rule ID: WERE_VBB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'where' or 'we'?
Suggestion: where; we
... participants of this particular survey were people who took more care about their h...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, finally, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, well, in fact, as a result, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2226.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 430.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.17674418605 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.07673759728 2.78398813304 111% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.493023255814 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 684.0 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.9159480076 57.8364921388 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 96.7826086957 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6956521739 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.47826086957 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.225693876726 0.218282227539 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0638508247461 0.0743258471296 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0851259774418 0.0701772020484 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116528221474 0.128457276422 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0678117040374 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.