By demonstrating the similarity between the two preserves, the author believes that the predators in the Eastern preserve are responsible for the extinction of the western gazelles, who moved to the Eastern preserves three years ago. It is easy to understand why predators can cause extinction, but this argument is subject to flawed reasoning and insufficient evidence.
To begin with, the author claims that the two preserves provide a similar environment for the gazelles to live by citing the similarity of species and the uniformity of weather. This argument, however, is missing details and evidence. The author admits that the number of rainfall differs across these two areas, but he does not provide data and statistics to prove this argument. Instead, the author should have made it clear how much the rainfall differs and why this tiny difference would not negatively impact the western gazelle. It is especially significant to claim why such difference is negligible to western gazelles, as sometimes a small change in weather means a lot to animals.
Moreover, the author implicitly claims that western can survive the new environment since eastern gazelles can. There is a supposition that western and eastern require similar living conditions and they mingle with each other. However, it is possible that they prefer different weather or they fight to compete for territories. Thus, the author should add more evidence to show the western gazelle, theoretically, can survive in the new preserve.
Building upon the assumption that the difference in rainfall is negligible, the author believes that predators are, instead, responsible for the extinction. In order to prove this claim, the author should clarify either what predators it is and how the extinction happens, or why all the other factors are cannot lead to the extinction. The author, however, fails to achieve either. On the countray, he should briefly describe which species the predator is, how frequent the gazelle is killed, and how does the predator impact the gazelle population to strengthen his argument. Without these details justified, the claim is rife with holes.
Last but not least, there can be some other reason that explains for the extinction. For example, it might be the case that there is an inherited disease among the group of western gazelle and their extinction is not subject to the change of environment. In addition, it might be due to more intense sunlight or higher humidity. Obviously, there are hundreds of factors influencing the survival of gazelle, and we just cannot exclude them all.
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 418 350
No. of Characters: 2126 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.522 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.086 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.652 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 170 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 136 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.136 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
briefly, but, however, if, moreover, so, then, thus, for example, in addition, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2192.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 418.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.24401913876 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52162009685 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76179775551 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.483253588517 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 672.3 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.7340743218 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.6 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.6 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.13436248125 0.218282227539 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0399744411193 0.0743258471296 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0575125579434 0.0701772020484 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.086312155369 0.128457276422 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0525746680407 0.0628817314937 84% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.11 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.33 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.