Argument Essay:-->The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava."The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the num

Essay topics: Argument Essay:-->
The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase.".....
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

smartaquarius10's picture

The author’s argument that the committee should utilize city funds, for the development of city, and provide facilities to adults rather than using funds on public schools, as birthrate of the city is decreasing seems to be tenable at first glance. However, conclusion relies on the assumption for which author did not provide any supporting evidences.

To begin with, author provided an argument that birth rate of city will decrease in further years, however, evidence provided by the author that last year the birthrate of the city is one-half that of five years ago does not supports the argument. Author had provided statistics of last year but s/he did not provide any information about the birth rate of current year. It is inappropriate to justify anything on the basis of past. It is possible that in the current year there is a little increase in the birth rate as compared to last year birth rate, which author is not considering.

In addition to it, author had provided an argument that the committee can safely reduce the budgeted for education during the next decade because fewer students will enroll in public schools due to decrease in birth rate. Despite of this, it is possible that students from other cities get enrollment in Calatrava public schools. If the education in the public school is good, then it is inappropriate to consider that enrollment is less. Students will always attract more towards good education for better career. However, if funds for public schools were reduced then it will affect students’ education adversely.

Furthermore, author considered that the committee can also save sufficient money for city development if they reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. However, this activity will affect the existing students adversely who are currently studying in public schools. Youths are the pillar of the nation, and if disturbance occurs in the foundation then it will lead to decline in economy growth. If athletic facilities were not provided to students then they will become lethargic and less sportive which ultimately leads to deteriorate their career. Also, students will be unable to explore more about subjects and their knowledge spectrum becomes confined in certain limits which lead to decrease in confidence in them, if recreational facilities are not being provided to them.

To sum up, author may not necessarily be wrong to assert that utilization of funds for providing facilities to adult is a better option. However, it is inappropriate to consider that adult population will increase further. Because no parent will like their children to become dull because of the lack of knowledge. It is possible that parents will transfer to other cities so that their children can get better education. Because everybody knows that “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”. And due to this transfer adult people would increase in the future. To bolster argument author has to provide more conclusive evidences which justifies the argument more manifestly.

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Comments

flaws:
Argument 1 -- Not really- You want 'information about the birth rate of current year'.

Correct:
'last year's birth-rate was only one-half that of five years ago' couldn't predict the decreasing trend in the next decade. For example, there may be a possibility of some big industry being set-up in Catralava in the coming decade which may lead to an upsurge in the city's population.

Argument 2 -- OK

Argument 3 -- Not OK. Don't write argument essay same as issue essays.

Correct:
Maybe the athletic playing fields as well as other recreational facilities are not solely devised for students; the adults may use them more often and even enjoy greatly the athletic playing fields and recreational facilities

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 496 350
No. of Characters: 2510 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.719 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.06 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.629 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 145 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 107 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.565 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.445 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.293 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.503 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.077 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

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