The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily newspaper.
"Throughout the country last year,as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth league sports , over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries.When interviewed for a recent study, youth-league soccer players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure exerted by coaches and parents to win games.Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities.Since the disadvantages outweigh any advantages, we in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine."
The conclusion to discontinue the athletic competition for children under nine is derived in the argument. It is based on the evidences that throughout country 40,000 young players suffered injuries, players report psychological pressure and long practice sessions take away time that could be used for academic activities. But , the conclusion is derived on the basis of fallacious evidences. The evidences contain many flaws.
First of all, it is stated in argument that recent interviews of youth-league soccer players reveals the psychological pressure exerted on them by coaches and parents. But, this evidence takes into account the reports of soccer players only while there are many more games that are included in youth-league sports.
Moreover, these reports are from soccer players of major cities only. Argument does not provide any information about other cities of the country.
Secondly, education experts says that the long practice sessions take away time that could be used for academic purposes.But, there is no cited evidence that the practise sessions are organised during the study time.Further, this evidence does not prooves that practice sessions are also long in Parkville.
Further, ergument asserts that disadvantages outweigh any advantage. But, in the argument advantages are not discussed at all. So, in the absence of advantages it might be fallacious to say that disadvantages outweigh advantages.
Finally, in argument conclusion is made about a prticular city Parkville based on evidences which explores studies of whole country.
Thus, the conclusion of argument is based on hollow evidences . The evidences in argument represents the country, while conclusion represents only one city of the country.The argument might have evidences related to Parkville city.It might also consider reports of players of other games along with soccer players..Then, the conclusion might become more convincing.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2012-10-02 | iqbal244340 | 55 | view |
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Sentence: Secondly, education experts says that the long practice sessions take away time that could be used for academic purposes.But, there is no cited evidence that the practise sessions are organised during the study time.Further, this evidence does not prooves that practice sessions are also long in Parkville.
Description: The fragment experts says that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace says with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: But, there is no cited evidence that the practise sessions are organised during the study time.Further, this evidence does not prooves that practice sessions are also long in Parkville.
Error: practise Suggestion: practice
Error: prooves Suggestion: proves
Error: organised Suggestion: organized
Sentence: Further, ergument asserts that disadvantages outweigh any advantage.
Error: ergument Suggestion: argument
Sentence: Finally, in argument conclusion is made about a prticular city Parkville based on evidences which explores studies of whole country.
Error: prticular Suggestion: particular
flaws:
No. of Words: 296 350
No. of Different Words: 138 200
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.579 21.0
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 296 350
No. of Characters: 1597 1500
No. of Different Words: 138 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.148 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.395 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.732 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.579 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.59 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.636 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5