"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia"
The author concludes in the above statement that the new use found for Salicylates will have in beneficial effect on the people. He bases this on a study that documents a decrease in head aches which makes this argument logical but on closer inspections we can see some flaws in the authors assumptions.
First of all I would like to pint out that any use for a chemical should be studied by medical examination rather than a study based on observation. The author study wholly based on reports given by participants also doesn't provide us with figures which can strengthen this argument. A medical study conducted over a period of time on sufficient number of participants will help us understand the situation better.
Secondly the study does not tell us about the diet of the participants which would have enabled us to co-relate the intake of Salicylates with reduced or increased head aches. The reverse could also be true that people with lower intake of Salicylates are experiencing less headaches or there has been some other reason for the same effect. There are lot of factors that needs to be taken into account before coming to a conclusion.
The used of Salicylates as flavor additives also needs a separate study before this can be implemented. This might cause an over intake of this chemical, results of which are unknown. Just because previous use seems to have done done good for customers doesn't mean that use of it in a different form will have the exact same effect. Also it is widely known that some chemicals don't have the same effect on everyone, which also should be a topic of study so that we are aware of potentials dangers if any.
To conclude, author hasn't taken into account all the necessary factors and thus the argument lacks credibility. Also there are no statistical data provided which could have made the argument persuasive.
Sentence: Just because previous use seems to have done done good for customers doesn't mean that use of it in a different form will have the exact same effect.
Description: The fragment done done contains a repeated word
Suggestion: Delete a possible duplicate word:
flaws:
Try to find flaws from statement, not by knowledge:
'any use for a chemical should be studied by medical examination rather than a study based on observation.'
'The used of Salicylates as flavor additives also needs a separate study before this can be implemented.'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 325 350
No. of Characters: 1522 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.246 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.683 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.575 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 93 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.214 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.461 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.616 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5