We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the

The author states that opening a cafe in the book store will attract more customers and makes the Monarch Books to compete with another store which has followed the same policy. Although, he gives some reasons and provides some data for this advice, still many questions are remained unanswered and it is not like that this argument could persuade the board to accept this change.

In the first place, one should ask that what exactly the statistics about the declination in popularity of children’s books imply. Is this decrease associated with nearly all ages below ten and all types of children books or it is, for example, mainly associated with 7-9 year-old kids who are not interested in game and math books anymore. If this is the case then there is no point in removing the story books from the children’s books section. Moreover, even if the prediction of the author is correct, it should be asked, what the consequences of this census are. Perhaps, the officials are going to replace the old books with some more fun and interesting books for children. In such conditions the store should try to maintain its children’s section because the popularity will increase again. Besides, it should be asked that whether a change such as removing a whole section of the store, does not affect the reputation of Monarch Books which has been well-known for its wide selection over years?

Furthermore, it is to be asked that whether such a comparison with Regal Books, and following them is reasonable or not. If for example, opening cafe in Regal Books is the result of repetitious requests of customers because no other cafe has been in the vicinity, then following the same policy as Regal Books might not be rational. Or if, on the contrary, it has been because of the results of a complete survey about the effects of opening a cafe in a book store in, which has conducted by researchers, then probably it is ok to do the same for Monarch Books. It also should be asked that how Regal Books has made this change, by removing a section or conversely because they had plenty of extra space. Furthermore, author should ensure the reader that such a change has been beneficial. For instance, if still a few weeks have passed after this change, then such conclusions about attracting more customers are not sufficiently reliable.

Finally, it should be asked that, is certainly the number of customers going to increase in Monarch after this change. To answer this question many other factors should be considered. For instance, it is possible that after opening a café many other type of people who are not necessarily interested in books come to the store and probably ruin the kind atmosphere of the store. For another possibility, maybe through all these 20 years parents who brought their children to the store, bought a couple of books for themselves, as well. In this case, replacing the children book section seems to diminish the profit of the book store instead of increasing it. Similarly, many other factors have to be considered before giving such a solid conclusion.

All in all, the author should have tried to justify his comparison with Regal Books more clearly and examine other relevant factors to make his argument more effective. Moreover, the validity and accuracy of the sources that the author is referring to has to become clear to the reader. But, in its current state this argument is not likely to have the desired results. However, by giving more details and ensuring the board about the increase in profit the author can undeniably convince the board to follow this advice.

Votes
Average: 7.7 (6 votes)
Essay Categories

flaws:
No. of Words: 617 350 (write the essay in half an hour. For issue essays, around 450 words, for argument essays, around 400 words.)

Some duplicate arguments in the essays.

Need to be more clear and simple:

Argument against 1: No evidence to prove that 'Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers.'

Argument against 2: 'decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. ' doesn't mean the books for children under age ten will decline too.

Argument against 3: No information about 'Regal Books'. Maybe it targets different customers.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 617 350
No. of Characters: 2923 1500
No. of Different Words: 255 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.984 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.737 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.445 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 197 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.68 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.587 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.76 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.494 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5