What is the core element of a good leadership? Competition or cooperation? In this statement, the author chooses the latter. The author claims that the society should prepare its younger generations for leadership in diverse fields such as government, industry, or others, by instilling in them a sense of cooperation rather than competition. With the examples of successful leaders who listened carefully to others and worked in a harmonious manner, I fundamentally agree with the statment.
It is an undeniable fact that no one can be an expert in every field. A single person can hardly have an expertise over more than one, or maybe two subjects. That being said, to make an enterprise a successful one, a leader must know how to cooperate with professionals from their fields. Take Steve Jobs, who is a famous example of highly competitive, but not really collaborative leader, for example. When he first started Apple, the business was fairly small, and being competitive seemed to be a key for his success. However, after a tremendous success of Apple, and enlarged size of the group followed, his lack of communicative skills and collabrative mind emerged to the surface. Although he had to work with co-workers who had different talents to make his innovative invetions come to reality, he failed to work harmoniously with the workers. And the result following that was cruel: he was fired from his own company. Taking aside the fact that he was re-hired and make the business grow even further, he is well-know as the "bossy" boss of all time till now, which makes it hard to conclude him as someone who has a good leadership.
For politicians, having cooperative mind also matters. For example, the former president of Korea, Lee-myung-bak was a reknown expert of economics. He promoted himself as a economy-president, and after he was elected, Lee did tried a number of poilcies that he claimed to bring the desirable changes in Korean economy. Nevertheless, while being rather dampen in the idea of 'saving the economy', he ignored other important agendas such as human right issues, which resulted in a pessimistic opinions of the people of Korea.
Taking account of the fact that one cannot be an expert and have to cooperate with others to be a successful leader, we cannot ignore the imporatnce of being competition, because it is true that an individual have to compete through the way to become a leader. Therefore, for a society to prepare their younger generations to become a successful leaders, the best way will be focusing on instillilng in them a sense of cooperation with competition.
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- wave farms76
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 429, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER
Message: Consider replacing "in a harmonious manner" with adverb for "harmonious"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...listened carefully to others and worked in a harmonious manner, I fundamentally agree with the statmen...
Line 5, column 173, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
...rt of economics. He promoted himself as a economy-president, and after he was ele...
Line 5, column 228, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'try'
...dent, and after he was elected, Lee did tried a number of poilcies that he claimed to...
Line 5, column 491, Rule ID: A_PLURAL
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'opinion'?
...issues, which resulted in a pessimistic opinions of the people of Korea. Taking acco...
Line 7, column 348, Rule ID: A_PLURAL
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'leader'?
...nger generations to become a successful leaders, the best way will be focusing on insti...
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, nevertheless, really, so, still, therefore, well, while, for example, such as, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 33.0505617978 106% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 58.6224719101 101% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2193.0 2235.4752809 98% => OK
No of words: 436.0 442.535393258 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02981651376 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56953094068 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04364193153 2.79657885939 109% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 215.323595506 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.557339449541 0.4932671777 113% => OK
syllable_count: 696.6 704.065955056 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.77640449438 394% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.8523158287 60.3974514979 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.65 118.986275619 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8 23.4991977007 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.25 5.21951772744 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.193612505474 0.243740707755 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0592428415032 0.0831039109588 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.10141909378 0.0758088955206 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144108861325 0.150359130593 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0950014307334 0.0667264976115 142% => OK
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.1392134831 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.8420337079 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.1639044944 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.99 8.38706741573 107% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 100.480337079 118% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 11.8971910112 59% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 79.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.75 Out of 6
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.