The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe over 100 000 people attended Monroe s annual jazz festival last summer

The author claims that a jazz music club in Monroe will be a tremendous success assuming that jazz is very popular in the city of Monroe because of the large number of people attended a jazz festival in Monroe and the popularity of the radio program ‘Jazz Nightly’. The author also assumes that as there is no jazz club nearby Monroe, people will come to a new jazz club, and as typical jazz fans spend lots of money on their entertainment, Monroe citizens will also spend enough money to make the new jazz club successful. As a first glance, this argument seems to be reasonable, but with a closer look through the assumptions, there are a number of critical flaws that can weaken the author’s assertion.

First of all, the author assumed that the city of Monroe is in need of a new jazz club as the closest jazz club is over an hour away. However, if jazz music is extremely popular as the author mentioned, how come there is no jazz club already built in the city? The author need to understand the reason why there still is no jazz club in the city. This might be because of the extremely expensive rent of the city, or citizens’ low preference for live jazz music. If this scenario is true, new jazz club in Monroe cannot be successful as the author predicts.

Secondly, assuming that the high number of people attending Monroe’s annual jazz festival and the high rate of ‘Jazz Nightly’ indicate the high popularity of jazz in the city of Monroe could be erroneous without eliminating other numerous possibilities. There is a possibility that large crowd gathered in the annual jazz festival last summer in fact came from out of the Monroe city. Even if they are all locals from Monroe, it is possible that Monroe is such a big city that 100,000 people is just a small fraction of the whole population. In addition, for the high rate of the radio program ‘ Jazz Nightly’, the success of the radio program might not because of the jazz music it plays, but because of the time it airs, which is every weeknight, the prime-time of the radio when the biggest portion of people listens to radio. Even if this is not the case, there is a possibility that people only enjoy listening jazz music, not generally interested in listening to a live jazz music. Without proving these possible explanations are wrongheaded, the author cannot be sure about the success of a new jazz club.

Furthermore, the author assumed that as a number of famous jazz musicians live in Monroe, they will be willing to perform at the new jazz bar. Nevertheless, there is no guarantee that they will perform at the new jazz club, as they might be already playing at the nearest –one hour away- jazz club.

Lastly, the author stated the national study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, assuming that jazz fan in Monroe will do the same. However, simply assuming the typical trait of a larger group will be applied to a subgroup is problematic. What may be true for a general population is not necessarily true for a particular subgroup. The economic ground of Monroe could be weaker than the nationwide average, which will lead to shrinkage of consumption, especially on the entertainment.

In conclusion, the argument is based on a number of problematic assumptions and the recommendation is unlikely to produce the desired results.

Average: 8.4 (4 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 6, column 301, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
... the nearest –one hour away- jazz club. Lastly, the author stated the national s...
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...hat the typical jazz fan spends close to ,000 per year on jazz entertainment, assu...
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
...tion, especially on the entertainment. In conclusion, the argument is based on ...

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, lastly, look, may, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, still, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 34.0 19.6327345309 173% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2840.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 591.0 441.139720559 134% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80541455161 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93056706295 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76409184594 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 204.123752495 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.406091370558 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 877.5 705.55239521 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 61.05757292 57.8364921388 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.238095238 119.503703932 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.1428571429 23.324526521 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.38095238095 5.70786347227 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.358498960756 0.218282227539 164% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.123201044083 0.0743258471296 166% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0912261699188 0.0701772020484 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.180885988773 0.128457276422 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.123044417591 0.0628817314937 196% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.91 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 98.500998004 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 12.3882235529 141% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?


Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 590 350
No. of Characters: 2707 1500
No. of Different Words: 226 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.928 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.588 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.517 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.095 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.253 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.81 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.387 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.557 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5