The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition."
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
A leader is someone who carries a team. He is not someone who dictates people on what should be done but is someone who instills a sense of togetherness in a team. A good leader is one who is the first in line on the battlefield and who gives a sense of direction for his team to move forward. A leader has to be the one who is the glue that holds the team together in times of turmoil. Hence values of togetherness and cooperation have to be instilled in leaders.
For a team to be successful, cooperation is the most important aspect. A team that is well-bonded is the one that will taste victory in testing times. Teams that do not function together, will always find it difficult to cope when the tides are tough. In every activity, teams that are similar in their skills will still have different outcomes that will be dictated by which team is more glued together. Hence, cooperation is the main virtue that must be instilled in a leader. It is often said that various qualities are imbibed by individuals in their elementary years. Hence it is of utmost importance that leaders are shaped from a very young age. A sense of cooperation at a very young age will be instilled in indviduals by teaching them qualitites like sharing and teamwork. Leaders have to be good at cooperation and be the ingredient that unites the team. A sense of cooperation is necessary as a team consists of individuals with very diverse backgrounds and have very different tought processes. Hence there might be situations when two individuals would not be in agreement in a task and this is when the sense of cooperation will help the leader to make concessions to ensure all individuals are happy and taken care of. Sense of cooperation in a leader would promote sense of cooperation within a team which would help a team overcome its shortcomings. For example, if someone is good at one thing and another individual is good at another, both can work together and address areas of the problems where each of their expertise lies.
A sense of competition is necessary only to some extent. A sense of competition will give the individuals traits of ruthlessness which is neccessary for teams to succeed. Competition is present in every field and a sense of how to win a competition is necessary for a leader for him to direct the team towards the right path. But this competativeness should not be within a team. Where individuals try to pull eachother down so they climb the ladder. Neither should this competativeness make leaders use malicious methods to win competitions. Like in various industries where one team tries to jeopardize the other teams work to gain an advantage.
Hence while I agree that the best way to shape young leaders is to instill a sense ofcooperation, it is necessary that they also have a sense of competition only to the extent that it does not drive them to use unfair means or create cracks within a team environment.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 388, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... the team together in times of turmoil. Hence values of togetherness and cooperation ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 574, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... individuals in their elementary years. Hence it is of utmost importance that leaders...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1009, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...d have very different tought processes. Hence there might be situations when two indi...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...er teams work to gain an advantage. Hence while I agree that the best way to sha...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 41, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...Hence while I agree that the best way to shape young leaders is to instill a sens...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, so, still, well, while, as to, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 40.0 19.5258426966 205% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 28.0 11.3162921348 247% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 33.0 33.0505617978 100% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 58.6224719101 128% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 12.9106741573 155% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2426.0 2235.4752809 109% => OK
No of words: 518.0 442.535393258 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6833976834 5.05705443957 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77070365392 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8545276563 2.79657885939 102% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 215.323595506 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.428571428571 0.4932671777 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 774.9 704.065955056 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 8.0 4.99550561798 160% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 51.8752628852 60.3974514979 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.3076923077 118.986275619 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9230769231 23.4991977007 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.73076923077 5.21951772744 52% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.83258426966 186% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176546188855 0.243740707755 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0576093020304 0.0831039109588 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0581100041297 0.0758088955206 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130098359501 0.150359130593 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0437496725315 0.0667264976115 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 14.1392134831 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.8420337079 124% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.86 12.1639044944 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.14 8.38706741573 85% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 100.480337079 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.