The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government industry or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation not competition

Essay topics:

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

Young peoples are the future of a society and implementing a sense of cooperation is the best way to develop the future of the society. While it is understandable that competition is an esssential part of development of young mind, we should not misunderstand the behind scenarios. Governmment, industry, or any other fields thrive through cooperation not through competation. We must not install a sense of competition in the young minds so soon. Therefore, i mostly agree with the given prompt and will try to pursude on my opinion.
Any kind of organization thrive under cooperation. For instance, think about the government institution, they work hand on hand for the better improvement of their nation ( not the corrupted ones, they work for their own betterment). If the department of military does not go along with the ministry of science, they will lay far behind in this ongoing everchanging technological world. Or what about the ministry of finance and ministry of road and transportation or the ministry of disaster challenges, if they do not incoparate with each other from where the funds will come? or from where ministry of finance know to spend the government money usefully for the needed people or peoples sustainable life. There are always cooperation between any kind of sucesses and goodwills.
People may argue that without competition, there will be no growth or development on society. That argument hold water in several extent like technology, if there are no competition between Samsung and Apple, we may have to wait for several years to upgrade from button phone to smartphone. But the irony is, Apple is the biggest customer of Samsung and they perchase differnt electric cheaps needed for there product from the vary competitor they compete in the market. This proved that sense of competition does not indicate that there will be no cooperation between the competitors.
A society should not corrupt its young minds by installing sense of compition unnecessary

Votes
Average: 6.2 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 170, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r the better improvement of their nation not the corrupted ones, they work for th...
^^
Line 2, column 261, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...etterment. If the department of military does not go along with the ministry of s...
^^
Line 2, column 578, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Or
...h other from where the funds will come? or from where ministry of finance know to ...
^^
Line 3, column 122, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[8]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun extent seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'some extent'.
Suggestion: some extent
...on society. That argument hold water in several extent like technology, if there are no compet...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 423, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ic cheaps needed for there product from the vary competitor they compete in the market. ...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, may, so, therefore, while, for instance, kind of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.5258426966 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 33.0505617978 67% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 58.6224719101 87% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 12.9106741573 209% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1670.0 2235.4752809 75% => OK
No of words: 325.0 442.535393258 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13846153846 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24591054749 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9583363308 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 215.323595506 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.526153846154 0.4932671777 107% => OK
syllable_count: 520.2 704.065955056 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.38483146067 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.2370786517 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.3968181016 60.3974514979 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.375 118.986275619 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3125 23.4991977007 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.5625 5.21951772744 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.286028532088 0.243740707755 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0843510377356 0.0831039109588 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0709451260586 0.0758088955206 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.164725364034 0.150359130593 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0440364848245 0.0667264976115 66% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.1392134831 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.53 12.1639044944 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.18 8.38706741573 98% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 100.480337079 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.