Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which

When a child is growing up, adults generally ask that what he or she wants to be when they grow up. What is their dream to be. Some kid says, doctor, engineer, astronaut, country President etc. But, when they actually grow up, reality changes their mind set and they are many time force to choose the path which they have never dreamed of. Here the claim says that following dream should be more worthy goal oriented, as many people's dreams are inherently selfish. This statement is demeaning the innocence of a child.

A child is full of unsophistication, unadulterated, heart is full with dream. When, they are asked about their dream, they are being encourage to wear their innovative hats and that shows where their interest lies. Once they are growing up, they will be influenced by outside aspect and their dream, their passion may varies. This could be more concrete and more focused. This passion should be encouraged. If an ardent student can follow their heart and achieve success towards their passion. A student who is passionate about art and history, but forced to choose science to be part of this fast society, this could a debacle to their career, and will be failed to compete with this ever changing world.

They says, money is honey. Many parent wants their kids to be successful and be able to earn money as soon as possible, that they see as success, parents force their kids to pick a worthy goals and give up their passion. As per them and society, dream or passion should be money oriented. where as, many other goals like art, culture, games etc, which several time, takes time to achieve, even many times bring failure, are not much appreciated by society that impedes a fervid person to follow the path. A society, government should encourage these aspirant dreamer. If they fails, they should get a second chance.

This is to conclude that dreams of a kid is like clay, it can be molded. A kid if he/she is passionate towards something, they should be encourage to follow their dream.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 144, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'wearing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: wearing
...t their dream, they are being encourage to wear their innovative hats and that shows wh...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 6, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'They' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'say'
Suggestion: say
...with this ever changing world. They says, money is honey. Many parent wants thei...
^^^^
Line 5, column 290, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Where
...am or passion should be money oriented. where as, many other goals like art, culture,...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 290, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'whereas'?
Suggestion: whereas
...am or passion should be money oriented. where as, many other goals like art, culture, ga...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 353, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: 'several times'.
Suggestion: several times
...als like art, culture, games etc, which several time, takes time to achieve, even many times...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 577, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'fail'
Suggestion: fail
...courage these aspirant dreamer. If they fails, they should get a second chance. Th...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 138, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'encouraged'?
Suggestion: encouraged
...onate towards something, they should be encourage to follow their dream.
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 148, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'following'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: following
...rds something, they should be encourage to follow their dream.
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, if, may, second, so

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.5258426966 154% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 33.0505617978 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 34.0 58.6224719101 58% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1671.0 2235.4752809 75% => OK
No of words: 352.0 442.535393258 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.74715909091 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33147354134 4.55969084622 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.35971148947 2.79657885939 84% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 215.323595506 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.528409090909 0.4932671777 107% => OK
syllable_count: 496.8 704.065955056 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 6.24550561798 224% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.38483146067 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 23.0359550562 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 56.1383535493 60.3974514979 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.5714285714 118.986275619 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.7619047619 23.4991977007 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.61904761905 5.21951772744 31% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.147939135933 0.243740707755 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0579817109866 0.0831039109588 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0661717544122 0.0758088955206 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.109980739041 0.150359130593 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0336502022959 0.0667264976115 50% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.3 14.1392134831 66% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 48.8420337079 148% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 12.1743820225 59% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 9.97 12.1639044944 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.38706741573 89% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 100.480337079 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 11.8971910112 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.2143820225 75% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 11.7820224719 59% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.