The following memorandum is from the president of Primo Doll Manufacturing Inc According to a survey last year of parents who purchased the Elkie our most popular doll 90 percent reported that although their children were extremely satisfied with the doll

Essay topics:

The following memorandum is from the president of Primo Doll Manufacturing, Inc.

"According to a survey last year of parents who purchased the Elkie, our most popular doll, 90 percent reported that although their children were extremely satisfied with the doll's features, the doll quickly wore out with use. In a follow-up survey of the same parents, 80 percent reported that they would recommend a more durable version of the doll to their friends. In response to these surveys, we have created the Elkie-Advanced Doll, which has similar features to the original Elkie Doll but is manufactured using the same higher quality materials used by Optima Doll Manufacturing, our most successful competitor. Because parents can now purchase the beloved Elkie doll and be sure that it won't quickly wear out with use, we predict that our profits will exceed those of Optima Doll Manufacturing this year."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

The author of the memorandum suggests that the profits of Primo Doll Manufacturing would exceed their competitor's profit because Primo Doll Manufacturing created Elkie-Advanced Doll. However, several questions need answering to evaluate the claim.
First of all, the memorandum states the Elkie doll won't quickly wear out with use. However, maybe their profits were from customer repurchase behavior of the original version doll? Perhaps when the doll wore out with use, those parents purchase new ones for their kids, so Primo Doll Manufacturing can earn some profit from consumer repurchase.
Secondly, the memorandum says the Elkie-Advanced Doll uses the same higher quality materials used by Optima Doll Manufacturing (Primo Doll manufacturing's competitor). Nevertheless, how about the costs? It is possible that Optima Doll got lower costs on their materials. So Optima Doll might still have a higher profit than Primo Doll does.
Citing the survey in this memorandum, the author claims that 80 percent of parents would recommend a more durable version of the doll to their friends. However, is the time factor considered in this conclusion? Maybe the parents' children are adults now, so they don't play with dolls anymore. And the new generation of kids is not that care about the durability of the dolls.
The author needs to answer the above questions to strengthen his or her argument.

Votes
Average: 2.7 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 262, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...arents children are adults now, so they dont play with dolls anymore. And the new ge...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, may, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, still, then, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 19.5258426966 26% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.4196629213 40% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 14.8657303371 13% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.3162921348 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 33.0505617978 48% => OK
Preposition: 26.0 58.6224719101 44% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 2.0 12.9106741573 15% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1175.0 2235.4752809 53% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 221.0 442.535393258 50% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.31674208145 5.05705443957 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.85565412703 4.55969084622 85% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78701443823 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 133.0 215.323595506 62% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.601809954751 0.4932671777 122% => OK
syllable_count: 355.5 704.065955056 50% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.38483146067 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.2370786517 69% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 15.0 23.0359550562 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.9012521983 60.3974514979 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.9285714286 118.986275619 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.7857142857 23.4991977007 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.85714285714 5.21951772744 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.402580231762 0.243740707755 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.134460645487 0.0831039109588 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.109911177305 0.0758088955206 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.215601094231 0.150359130593 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.114613408761 0.0667264976115 172% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 14.1392134831 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.8420337079 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.1743820225 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.28 12.1639044944 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 51.0 100.480337079 51% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 11.8971910112 76% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.2143820225 71% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.