"In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agree that participating in an internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40 percent of Linford`s graduating art students had completed an internship. SkyDesigns, located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design business, as over 80 percent of businesses in Linford City have used the services of Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in a student`s success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation."
The letter recommends art department require all art students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation. To support his conclusion, he cited various pieces of evidence. Although these pieces of evidence appear to bolster the argument, a meticulous analysis will show otherwise. So to make the argument more sound and persuasive, the author needs to cite the following specific pieces of evidence.
First of all, the author presumes that Sky Designs is the only company in the city that offers internships in all of their departments. Perhaps, there might be other companies in the city which also offer internships in all of their departments. In this case, this suggestion doesn't hold water. Possibly, there might be other companies which a better learning environment than Sky Designs. On the other hand, the writer assumes those students who are seeking an internship, they care about the flexibility of time. Possibly, the students may not care about the flexibility of time.
Second of all, the author has supposed that the location of the Sky Designs is favorable to all of the internship seekers. Maybe the location of a Sky Designs is not suitable for the students. Additionally, the author presumes the availability of public transportation to the location ot Sky Designs is good or all of the students have their private vehicles to commute. It is possible that despite the excellency of the company, there may not be good means to go regularly there.
Third of all, the author presumes that all of the students want to be employed after their graduation. Possibly, the students want to start their own business rather than being employed in a company. If it was the case, then the author's recommendation is unwarranted.
In sum, the author's recommendation would be more persuasive if he had cited the above specific pieces of evidence. Without these pieces of evidence, I cannot be convinced of the writer's conclusion.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2021-03-15 | Sudan Devkota | 50 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 277, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...artments. In this case, this suggestion doesnt hold water. Possibly, there might be ot...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 93, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...tion of the Sky Designs is favorable to all of the internship seekers. Maybe the location ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 40, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... Third of all, the author presumes that all of the students want to be employed after thei...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 230, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...a company. If it was the case, then the authors recommendation is unwarranted. In s...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 13, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ndation is unwarranted. In sum, the authors recommendation would be more persuasive...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 179, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'writers'' or 'writer's'?
Suggestion: writers'; writer's
... evidence, I cannot be convinced of the writers conclusion.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, may, second, so, then, third, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.5258426966 77% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 14.8657303371 13% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 33.0505617978 67% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 58.6224719101 80% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 12.9106741573 139% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1644.0 2235.4752809 74% => OK
No of words: 320.0 442.535393258 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.1375 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22948505376 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8937162525 2.79657885939 103% => OK
Unique words: 159.0 215.323595506 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.496875 0.4932671777 101% => OK
syllable_count: 511.2 704.065955056 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 11.0 4.99550561798 220% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 23.0359550562 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.1319351852 60.3974514979 50% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 86.5263157895 118.986275619 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.8421052632 23.4991977007 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.10526315789 5.21951772744 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.2758426966 78% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.110899803251 0.243740707755 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0361997549473 0.0831039109588 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0468585151653 0.0758088955206 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0602981400994 0.150359130593 40% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.03148648433 0.0667264976115 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 14.1392134831 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.8420337079 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.1639044944 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.38706741573 94% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 100.480337079 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.2143820225 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.