The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year.Write a short report for a university lecturer describing th

This bar chart represents the sales of jeans in Mango Company and Jack and Jones Company for the next year. However, the pie chart illustrates the market share of two companies at the end of next year.

The bar chart significantly shows that Jack and Jones Company increased its sales in January but it has also experienced a declined in sales on February to June. By June to August it has underwent a plateau before it persistently rose up again from September to December. Moreover, the Mango Company has started to went up in January, but slightly slumped on February and started to inclined from March to December in its sales.

On the other hand, as shown in the pie chart Jack and Jones Company has an in-visioned
market share of 30% which is conceivably higher than the Mango Company. It only got a 20% of its shares.

In sum, both companies were remarkably improving its estimated sales and market share by the end of next year.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)

Sentence: By June to August it has underwent a plateau before it persistently rose up again from September to December.
Description: A verb 'to have', present tense, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, past tense
Suggestion: Refer to has and underwent

Sentence: Moreover, the Mango Company has started to went up in January, but slightly slumped on February and started to inclined from March to December in its sales.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and inclined

an in-visioned market share of 30% which is conceivably higher than the Mango Company
an in-visioned market share of 30% which is conceivably higher than that of the Mango Company

Sentence: On the other hand, as shown in the pie chart Jack and Jones Company has an in-visioned market share of 30 which is conceivably higher than the Mango Company.
Error: in-visioned Suggestion: envisioned

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 167 200
No. of Characters: 752 1000
No. of Different Words: 89 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.595 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.503 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.51 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 43 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 36 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 23 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 15 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.547 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.457 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.727 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4