The diagrams below show chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process.Summarise the information bu choosing and reporting the key features, and make any relevant comparisons.

Essay topics:

The diagrams below show chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process.
Summarise the information bu choosing and reporting the key features, and make any relevant comparisons.

The diagram illustrates the process of producing chocolate, while the pie chart below shows the percentage of chocolate price to each stakeholder which influence its price.

In the process of chocolate production, first step to do, chocolate is ground by the grinding machine, then it produces cocoa liquor and the waste is kept in the safe place. Next, the cocoa liquor is pressed by the pressing machine, and the cocoa powder and cocoa butter is produced in this step as the essential ingredients to make a chocolate bar. Cocoa powder could also used in food company to make other sweet beverages or foods. After that, cocoa liquor as the essential ingredients is mixed with sugar and cocoa butter by chocolate industry to produce chocolate bar.

In the pie chart below explains about the composition of chocolate price to each related parties which influence its price. Chocolate price is influenced by the cost of ingredients and overheads, supermarket, chocolate company and farmer. It can be seen that cost of ingredients and overheads has the highest percentage of price by 37%, and it followed by supermarket for 34% of the price. The 15% of the chocolate's price is sent to pay tax to the government, 10% for chocolate company, and the rest 4% for chocolate farmer who plants cocoa fruit.

It can be concluded that the first diagram shows the whole process of chocolate production, and the pie chart below reports the percentage that goes to the related parties.

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Average: 8 (1 vote)

Comments

Sentence: The diagram illustrates the process of producing chocolate, while the pie chart below shows the percentage of chocolate price to each stakeholder which influence its price.
Description: The fragment which influence its is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace influence with verb, past tense

flaws:
No. of Words: 247 200
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 247 200
No. of Characters: 1194 1000
No. of Different Words: 110 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.964 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.834 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.665 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 75 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.728 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.476 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.698 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.162 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4