The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph represents the data of percentage of elderly people aged 65 and over in three different countries, over a 100 year period, between 1940 to 2040. The general overview here is that the proportion of elderly people in Japan, Sweden and USA increased to almost 25% by the year 2040.
In 1940, USA was the country with the highest percentage of elderly people with the percent of 9%, followed by Sweden with almost 7% and Japan with approximately 5%. The percentage of elderly people in both USA and Sweden had gradually increased until 1980, while in 2000, Sweden raised above USA in the proportion of elderly people. However, the proportion of people aged 65 and over fluctuated in both the countries USA and Sweden till the year 2030, then raised to 25% and 23% by the year 2040.
On the other hand, elderly people percentage in Japan decreased from 1940 to 1980 with below 5%. Whereas, proportion of elderly people had a minor rose until 2030 and then increased gradually to the above 25% in Japan by the year 2040.
By the way of conclusion, the proportion of people aged 65 and over increased in both the countries USA and Sweden to almost 25% by the year 2040 . Whereas, Japan, which places the least in the year 1940, had a dramatic raise with above 25% by 2040.
Sentence: However, the proportion of people aged 65 and over fluctuated in both the countries USA and Sweden till the year 2030, then raised to 25 and 23 by the year 2040.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to countries and USA
Sentence: On the other hand, elderly people percentage in Japan decreased from 1940 to 1980 with below 5.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and percentage
Sentence: Whereas, proportion of elderly people had a minor rose until 2030 and then increased gradually to the above 25 in Japan by the year 2040.
Description: The fragment the above 25 is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace above with adjective
Sentence: By the way of conclusion, the proportion of people aged 65 and over increased in both the countries USA and Sweden to almost 25 by the year 2040 .
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to countries and USA
flaws:
No. of Words: 228 while No. of Different Words: 81
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 228 200
No. of Characters: 1010 1000
No. of Different Words: 81 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.886 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.43 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.413 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 64 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 42 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 27 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.397 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.554 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.735 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.2 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4