The line graph below gives information on cinema attendance in the UK.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information given.

Essay topics: The line graph below gives information on cinema attendance in the UK.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information given.

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The table line illustrated about the percentage of the report of the movies, while it was a significant between 1990 and 2010 in United Kingdom.

According to the data, the percentage of the societies who was 14-24 years old; furthermore, that of the previous aged 14-24 from 1990-to-1995 that was event increased gradually (approximately 16-18%). Moreover, in 2000, the proportion of the aged 14-24 decreased dramatically to reach 12% of the age percentage; meanwhile, that of the aged 14-24 rocketed during the end of the year.

On the other hand, the percentage of the community who were 24-34 years old, besides this, that of the aged 24-34 felt than increased gradually toward the end of the year; meanwhile, the proportion of the aged 34-44 peaked slowly to reach 36% in 1995;furthermore, that of the previous aged used to slip back to 43% in 2010. Moreover, the proportion of the aged 44-55 increased to reach 40%; moreover, that of the previous aged used to slip back from 2000 until the end of year. In the sameness, the percentage all of aged used to decrease in 2010.

Ultimately, visitor cinema which was aged 44-54 was the highest position in 2010 of the report.

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Comments

while it was a significant
while it was significant

According to the data, the percentage of the societies who was 14-24 years old;
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

that of the previous aged 14-24 from 1990-to-1995 that was event increased
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

the percentage of the community who were 24-34 years old,
Description: check books how to use 'who', 'which','that'

that of the aged 24-34 felt than increased gradually toward the end of the year;
Description: check books how to use 'than'

in additional,
in addition,

flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.328 0.07
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 10
No. of Words: 203 200
No. of Characters: 939 1000
No. of Different Words: 90 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.775 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.626 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.616 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 51 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 42 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.182 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.585 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.824 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.328 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4

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