Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All studentsshould be required to study art and music in secondary school. Usespecific reasons to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students
should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use
specific reasons to support your answer.

There are many kinds of school, which build character person, is located in secondary school. Besides that, there are numerous benefits like entertainment, knowledge and improved skill. Therefore, I agree about that statement.

First of all, entertainment is one of nature to become attraction of art and music. For example, I was sung a song when I was in junior high school, after finished examination. I was obtaining happiness, and I could get benefit from it such as art and music by my teacher. Besides this, I also could get relaxing. Indeed, we need art and music because they is an important to lose our stress.

In additional, knowledge is a manner to get something which is a significant for our lives. When we were studying in secondary school, art and music also teach us about knowledge. For instance, Topik Hidayat was studied in secondary school when he finished in senior high school. It is clear that in education, lesson such as playing guitar and having a good voice. Deeply, we can be increased our science about art and music.

Furthermore, secondary school can help us. When you have graduated from it, you can make a business as a guitar company. Robert Smith is a businessman in America. He has been owning the biggest enterprise there. He made his concern when he was 19-year old. Thus, the secondary of the school has many profits for their students.

Ultimately, in my personal opinion is that the secondary of the school carry numerous advantages for their school.

Votes
Average: 3.5 (2 votes)

Comments

There are many kinds of school, which build character person, is located in secondary school.
Description: what is the subject for 'is'?

in my personal opinion is that the secondary of the school carry numerous advantages for their school.
Description: what is the subject for 'is'?

Sentence: Indeed, we need art and music because they is an important to lose our stress.
Description: The tag a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by is
Suggestion: Refer to they and is

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 255 350
No. of Characters: 1195 1500
No. of Different Words: 141 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.996 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.686 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.601 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 85 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 60 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.122 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.177 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5