The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Submitted by chrisyu on Tue, 11/27/2018 - 10:58

The bar chart provides information regarding the percentage of female and male in Australia who doing regular physical activity in different age in 2010

Overall, most percentages of women doing regular physical activity outraced the men’s and it experienced an upward trend by the age. But initially, the percentage of women was fall behind men’s rate. Both of two percentages had some fluctuations.

Men's exercise rate was 52.8% in age 15 to 24 being higher than women rate by approximately 5%,then it sharp decline to 42.2% in age 25 to 34,and hitting the low-point of 39.5% in age 35 to 44.However the rate started to a rising trend to 43.1% in age 45 to 54 and reaching 45.1% in age 55 to 64.men who beyond 64 years old had 46.7% regular physical activity rate.

47.7% of Australian women had regular physical activity in age 15 to 24. Then it outraced men's rate which grown to 48.9% in age 25 to 34 and increase by 2.6% in age 35 to 44.it remained constant in age 55 to 64 and fall to 47.1% in age 65 and over.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task I - IELTS Academic

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 103, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'sharps'?
Suggestion: sharps
... women rate by approximately 5%,then it sharp decline to 42.2% in age 25 to 34,and hi...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 193, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
... the low-point of 39.5% in age 35 to 44.However the rate started to a rising trend to 4...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 193, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... the low-point of 39.5% in age 35 to 44.However the rate started to a rising trend to 4...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 300, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a beyond'.
Suggestion: who is a beyond
... and reaching 45.1% in age 55 to 64.men who beyond 64 years old had 46.7% regular physical...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, regarding, so, then

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 7.0 43% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 6.8 118% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 3.15609756098 95% => OK
Pronoun: 4.0 5.60731707317 71% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 33.7804878049 118% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 3.97073170732 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 852.0 965.302439024 88% => OK
No of words: 186.0 196.424390244 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.58064516129 4.92477711251 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.69299088775 3.73543355544 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67454611128 2.65546596893 101% => OK
Unique words: 98.0 106.607317073 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.52688172043 0.547539520022 96% => OK
syllable_count: 253.8 283.868780488 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.45097560976 96% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 1.53170731707 65% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.33902439024 46% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.07073170732 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 0.482926829268 414% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 3.36585365854 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 6.0 8.94146341463 67% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 31.0 22.4926829268 138% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 120.81034264 43.030603864 281% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 142.0 112.824112599 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.0 22.9334400587 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.16666666667 5.23603664747 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 1.69756097561 236% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 3.70975609756 54% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.13902439024 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.09268292683 98% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.396271464895 0.215688989381 184% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.21103329583 0.103423049105 204% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.13520963455 0.0843802449381 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.277001315968 0.15604864568 178% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0866812562004 0.0819641961636 106% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 13.2329268293 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.93 61.2550243902 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.51609756098 135% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.3012195122 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.88 11.4140731707 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.72 8.06136585366 96% => OK
difficult_words: 30.0 40.7170731707 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.4329268293 127% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 10.9970731707 131% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.0658536585 136% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.