The graph below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.
The proportion of individuals who purchase three different music albums based on sex and age in the UK is depicted in the graphs. It is immediately apparent that young people aged below 45 years old, and also men make up the highest percentage in buying different music albums.
In detail, three figures which show buyers aged from 16 to 44 years old have a fairly similar level in the pop and rock music categories, reaching higher than elderly people in the purchasing of music albums, at well over 25%. By contrast, classical music becomes favorite purchasing for elderly people aged above 45 years old, with figure reaching nearly 20%.
On the other hand, males dominate to buy rock and classical music albums, tough both of them experience almost same pattern in the pop music. Surprisingly, the percentage of men buying rock music is nearly twice as high as those of women.
To conclude, the genres of pop and rock music are interesting to young people aged under 45 year old, while the men record by far the highest figures than women.
classical music becomes favorite purchasing
classical music becomes the favorite purchasing
with figure reaching nearly 20%.
with a figure reaching nearly 20%.
tough both of them experience almost same pattern
though both of them experience almost the same pattern
while the men record by far the highest figures than women.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 10
No. of Words: 181 200
No. of Characters: 839 1000
No. of Different Words: 107 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.668 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.635 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.374 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 54 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 33 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 24 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 15 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.259 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.514 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.789 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.185 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4