The graph below shows the different levels of post- school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.( IELTS Book 4 test 3)
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of five distinct levels of post school education between two opposite gender in Australia during 1999. Overall, the data depict there were substantial variation in the ratio of men and women qualifications.
Evidently, the graph figures reckon the educational skills in male individuals were higher as compare to females in Australia. Drastically 90% of men took a skilled vocational diploma whereas, the women percentage in skilled vocational diplomas considerably plunged by 10% over the period. Likewise, male diploma holder inevitably increased and...
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Sentence: Overall, the data depict there were substantial variation in the ratio of men and women qualifications.
Description: The fragment substantial variation in is not usually preceded by were
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace were with was
the graph figures reckon the educational skills in male individuals were higher as compare to females in Australia.
the graph figures reckon that the educational skills in male individuals were higher as compared to females in Australia.
the other post-school category the bachelor’s degree statistics shows...
for other post-school category, the bachelor’s degree statistics shows...
but, in women gradually fell by 40% comprehensively in 1999.
but, women gradually fell by 40% comprehensively in 1999.
In short, the erratic graph statues delineate the post-school certifications or qualifications were most optimal among males then women’s.
In short, the erratic graph statues delineate that the post-school certifications or qualifications were most optimal among males then women’s.
flaws:
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Sentence Length SD: 2.288 7.5
Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 163 200
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.573 4.0
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.043 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4