Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.Discuss both these views and give yo

In the modern world, the debate of whether money should be invested in establishing sports facilities in improving public health has become a heated topic. While some people believe that by adding more sports facilities in the community, it will increase the public awareness about a healthy lifestyle, others think that the idea is ineffective and they believe that there are other ways which need to be taken promptly. Both of these views will be discussed before my opinion is stated.
On the one hand, people who advocate the idea that there should be more recreation facilities might argue that the greater availability of those sports centres would encourage people to work out frequently. The existence of jogging tracks facilities, athletic fields, basketball hall or football ground in residential areas would trigger the residents in doing some exercises. With the increasing number of people who do physical exercises, it is expected that the rate of several diseases which are caused by unhealthy lifestyles, such as diabetics, heart attack or obesity would be reduced.
On the other hand, it is argued by others that most health problems do not stem from a lack of opportunities, but from a lack of motivation. For example, Cambridge University found in a recent study that 62% of men and women who paid for an annual gym membership failed to go entirely after just one month. A public awareness campaign about the dangers a sedentary lifestyle is more important as it affects not only people’s well-being but also their understanding of the issue. This is because most men and women are unaware of the harm they are doing to themselves by not exercising regularly and warning them about the risk factors would have a motivating effect. I totally agree with this point of view. For instance, the ‘Go walking’ campaign in Northern Ireland in 2006 led to obesity-related illnesses, like heart disease and stroke, falling by almost a quarter.
In conclusion, although an increased availability of sports centres can influence the wellness of the public to a certain extent, it is only through education that the real benefits can be realised.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, well, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 7.0 257% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 1.00243902439 1197% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 9.0 6.8 132% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 3.15609756098 444% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 25.0 5.60731707317 446% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 33.7804878049 145% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 3.97073170732 151% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1816.0 965.302439024 188% => OK
No of words: 355.0 196.424390244 181% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11549295775 4.92477711251 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34067318298 3.73543355544 116% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8460742895 2.65546596893 107% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 106.607317073 194% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.583098591549 0.547539520022 106% => OK
syllable_count: 571.5 283.868780488 201% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.45097560976 110% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 1.53170731707 392% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 4.33902439024 92% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.07073170732 187% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.482926829268 207% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 3.36585365854 178% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 8.94146341463 145% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.4926829268 120% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 56.7553662453 43.030603864 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.692307692 112.824112599 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.3076923077 22.9334400587 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.69230769231 5.23603664747 147% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 1.69756097561 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 3.70975609756 162% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 1.13902439024 439% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.09268292683 49% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.234859979647 0.215688989381 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0759261232704 0.103423049105 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.042675834062 0.0843802449381 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130378083025 0.15604864568 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0593382666684 0.0819641961636 72% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 13.2329268293 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 61.2550243902 72% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.51609756098 172% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.3012195122 134% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 11.4140731707 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.29 8.06136585366 115% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 40.7170731707 238% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.4329268293 127% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.9970731707 116% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.0658536585 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.