Writing task 1 Weekend activities at Newton Swimming Pool and the proposed new timetable

Essay topics:

Writing task 1 / Weekend activities at Newton Swimming Pool and the proposed new timetable.

The board below shows the activity schedule on Saturday and Sunday at Newton Swimming Pool in the past and the recent one.

Overall, there seems to be significant changes between the latter compare to the first schedule. Swimming activity for children organized completely on Saturday with less class slots (only 5) compared to the old schedule (which was 8)

There is an equivalent lesson program for both children and adult at general activities namely Beginner; Intermediate; Advanced and Water Safety. Also it is maybe demonstrated that adult are greater swimmer so there are two Advanced program while only one for children is organized.

Can be seen in the latter schedule that a brand-new class called “Water Polo” which exclusive for children is added. It also found that the Beginner swimming activities for adult is discontinued. The revised version offer Water safety for adult added as well while there wasn’t such activity on the last timetable.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 191, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'compared' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'compares'.
Suggestion: compares
...n Saturday with less class slots only 5 compared to the old schedule which was 8 The...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 231, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...compared to the old schedule which was 8 There is an equivalent lesson program fo...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 147, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ntermediate; Advanced and Water Safety. Also it is maybe demonstrated that adult are...
^^^^
Line 5, column 234, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'programs'?
Suggestion: programs
...eater swimmer so there are two Advanced program while only one for children is organize...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 234, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'program' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'programs'.
Suggestion: programs
...eater swimmer so there are two Advanced program while only one for children is organize...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, may, so, well, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 7.0 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 1.00243902439 100% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 6.8 59% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 3.15609756098 158% => OK
Pronoun: 5.0 5.60731707317 89% => OK
Preposition: 15.0 33.7804878049 44% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 0.0 3.97073170732 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 817.0 965.302439024 85% => OK
No of words: 155.0 196.424390244 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27096774194 4.92477711251 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.52844152537 3.73543355544 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62609969037 2.65546596893 99% => OK
Unique words: 96.0 106.607317073 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.61935483871 0.547539520022 113% => OK
syllable_count: 255.6 283.868780488 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.45097560976 110% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 1.53170731707 65% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.33902439024 46% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.07073170732 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 3.36585365854 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 8.94146341463 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.4926829268 98% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.4267734295 43.030603864 145% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.714285714 112.824112599 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1428571429 22.9334400587 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.28571428571 5.23603664747 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 1.69756097561 295% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 3.70975609756 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.13902439024 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.09268292683 49% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.159901936593 0.215688989381 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0806504243017 0.103423049105 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0837373504134 0.0843802449381 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114931027185 0.15604864568 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0826921637885 0.0819641961636 101% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 13.2329268293 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 61.2550243902 80% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.51609756098 172% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.3012195122 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 11.4140731707 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.8 8.06136585366 109% => OK
difficult_words: 40.0 40.7170731707 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 11.4329268293 131% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.9970731707 98% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.0658536585 136% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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More content wanted.

Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.