You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired.

Essay topics:

You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired.

ear Sir or Madam,

Two weeks ago I purchased a brand new mobile phone from your shop. I was excited to have purchased it but very disappointed to find that the phone was poorly produced and stopped working within a week of purchase. I have talked to one of your representatives over the phone twice but nothing has been done so far. I am hoping you will replace it immediately.

In relation to the specifics of the order, I purchased this mobile phone from your Davidsons Avenue store on September 23rd and it was a cash purchase. The model of the mobile phone is OnePlus 6 and it comes with a 6.28 inches display, Android 8.1 (Oreo) OS, 16 Megapixel camera, 6 GB RAM and Octa-core processor. The order number is 25789652 and I am attaching a copy of my receipt.

The issue with the phone is that I am unable to start it even after the phone is fully charged. It is dead and unusable for me. I’m sure this is a manufacturing flaw and I am entitled to get a new phone as a replacement according to the warranty policy. Despite my communication with one of your representatives a week ago, nothing has been done and I seriously doubt the after-sale service you provide.

As a solution, and because I really like the functionality and features of this phone, I am hoping that you will agree to replace it with a new one immediately. Otherwise, I would like a full refund and I will be contacting the Bureau of Consumer Protection if I do not hear back from you in regards to this within a week.

Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply soon.

Yours faithfully,

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Ear
ear Sir or Madam, Two weeks ago I purcha...
^^^
Line 3, column 315, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...twice but nothing has been done so far. I am hoping you will replace it immediate...
^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...I am attaching a copy of my receipt. The issue with the phone is that I am unabl...
^^^
Line 9, column 290, Rule ID: IN_REGARD_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'regarding' or 'with regard to'.
Suggestion: regarding; with regard to
...otection if I do not hear back from you in regards to this within a week. Thank you for gi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, really, so

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 7.48453608247 160% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 4.92783505155 81% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 5.05154639175 297% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 3.0 3.03092783505 99% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 32.9175257732 134% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 36.0 26.3917525773 136% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 3.85567010309 156% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1320.0 937.175257732 141% => OK
No of words: 296.0 206.0 144% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.45945945946 4.54256449028 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14784890444 3.78020617076 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76905048953 2.54303337028 109% => OK
Unique words: 156.0 127.690721649 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527027027027 0.622605031667 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 429.3 290.88556701 148% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.41237113402 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.13402061856 88% => OK
Article: 3.0 0.824742268041 364% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 1.83505154639 54% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.463917525773 216% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 1.44329896907 139% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 12.6804123711 110% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 16.3608247423 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 48.0689319855 44.8134815571 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.2857142857 76.5299724578 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1428571429 16.8248392259 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.35714285714 4.34317383033 31% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.29896907216 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 2.54639175258 157% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 7.41237113402 94% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 1.49484536082 268% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.94845360825 101% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.264713594932 0.216113520407 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0816468017774 0.0766984524023 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0577624276386 0.0603063233224 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144828115621 0.12726935374 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0926935306284 0.0580467560999 160% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 8.37731958763 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 70.7449484536 83% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 3.82989690722 81% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 7.45979381443 138% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.59 8.71597938144 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 7.59969072165 103% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 41.2886597938 143% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 8.62886597938 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 8.54432989691 122% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 8.15463917526 123% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.