Children are under increasing educational, social and financial stress. Some people think this a positive development. Do you agree?

Essay topics:

Children are under increasing educational, social and financial stress. Some people think this a positive development. Do you agree?

The fast paced life style has posed enormous stress on people’s daily lives. Similarly, children cannot be exempted from this phenomenon, either. It has been argued that this is a positive approach; however, I disagree with the statement.

Firstly, the pressure from schools and peers deprives children of their physical health. This is particularly true in some Asian countries, where students have to spend several hours on doing their homework and assignments everyday so as to get a higher grade in the exam. This is because students face intolerable strain from an education system cannot stand failure and emphasize the league tables. However, long hours of studying, according to medical research, will result in short-sighted, eating disorders and weak body strength.

Secondly, the stress stemming from the social competition and family expectations undermines young people’s mental health indirectly. In order to keep pace with the latest trend of the society, children sometimes are required to attend extra curriculums, such as music lessons, language schools. Consequently, it is less likely for them to achieve the study-life balance, giving rise to anxious, aggression. Furthermore, intense parenting would restrain children from learning compassion, happiness and imagination that are decisive factors to their adulthoods. Meanwhile, an increasing number of pupils have become the debtors of studying loans that signed up by parents, which means children need to start clearing their debts once they start to make earnings.

In conclusion, I believe children are taking too much stress these days, which can cause them mental and physical issues. However, this problem needs to be addressed at the national level since the whole social atmosphere affects everyone.

Votes
Average: 8.5 (2 votes)

Comments

This is because students face intolerable strain from an education system cannot stand failure and emphasize the league tables.
This is because students face intolerable strain from an education system which cannot stand failure and emphasize the league tables.

to achieve the study-life balance
to achieve the study-life in balance

giving rise to anxious, aggression.
giving rise to anxiety and aggression.

studying loans that signed up by parents,
studying loans signed up by parents,
studying loans that are signed up by parents,

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.043 0.07

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 271 350
No. of Characters: 1469 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.057 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.421 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.603 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.357 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.564 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.532 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.043 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5