Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer (SalMon_sample answer)
It goes without saying that no pupil can succeed at school unassisted. Their success should be attributed to many different external factors. It is argued that parents who are the closet to children mainly contribute to their accomplishments. However, in my opinion, the classmates should be regarded as the most important influence on individual achievements.
To begin with, the classmates themselves creat a competitive atmoshphere which incent the children. In high school, for instance, an individual cannot resist studying painstakingly through day and night when the others who are astoundingly ambitious and set sights on prestigious universities around the globe are doing the same. From a psychological perspective, the feeling of being subordinate to their peers exert enormous pressure on the children, which subsequently transforms into some sort of stimulants and boosts the children's academic performances.
To add up, when it comes to knowledge and the acquisition of such, classmates are second to none. It is a matter of fact that students share even more time together than with their parents, explaining a great deal of wisdom they absorb from each others; it can be, for example, lessons on the class, social skills or general etiquettes that are sometimes overlooked by parents. Sharing the same age, children are at their most comfort to exchange ideas, to query and interpret abstract concepts without fear of parental punishments, resulting in deeper comprehension.
All advantages considered, classmates are unrivalled by the children's parents as they provide tremendous incentive and horizon expansion, two crucial commodities leading to a successful presentation at school.
the classmates themselves creat a competitive atmoshphere which incent the children.
the classmates themselves create a competitive atmosphere which incents the children.
Sentence: It is a matter of fact that students share even more time together than with their parents, explaining a great deal of wisdom they absorb from each others; it can be, for example, lessons on the class, social skills or general etiquettes that are sometimes overlooked by parents.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and others
Sentence: To begin with, the classmates themselves creat a competitive atmoshphere which incent the children.
Error: atmoshphere Suggestion: atmosphere
Error: creat Suggestion: create
Error: incent Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: All advantages considered, classmates are unrivalled by the children's parents as they provide tremendous incentive and horizon expansion, two crucial commodities leading to a successful presentation at school.
Error: unrivalled Suggestion: unrivaled
flaws:
No. of Words: 258 350
More content wanted. Read a real story by a testbig user why more content:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/some-people-prefer-spend-their-live…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 258 350
No. of Characters: 1413 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.008 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.477 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.098 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.455 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.195 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.592 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.013 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5