Ecological balance is impossible to achieve when technological progress constantly ruins our environment. Do you agree?

Past few decades, the world had witnessed rapid advancement in the technological breakthroughs and its use. Consequently, many serious environmental problems have been emerged which in near future, if not solved, is enough to imbalance of whole ecosystem in this Earth.

First and foremost, all raw resources for the manufacturing of technology largely comes from the extraction of natural resources. For example, semiconductor is made from silicon which is extracted by making great whole inside Earth's core, thus making the Earth surface very weak. Similarly, furniture comes from the great destruction of long-aged trees which has resulted in the least recorded precipitation in these years. In addition to this, radiation in the atmosphere from the different radio technologies such as satellite phones, mobile telecommunications, wireless internet system has played detrimental role in causing cancer and other traumatic diseases in living animals. Technology has not only consumed non-renewable resources and made this planet deficit of natural properties but also has abetted in degrading the pristine view of amenities by constructing giant infrastructure such as skyscrapers, bridges, walls, towers and so on.

Moreover, ultra-modern industries are alarmingly producing a great amount of carbon dioxide which is consistently depleting the ozone layer and causing a vast increase in temperature of the Earth. Hence, UV-light from depleted ozone layer has pejorative effect on the flora and fauna of this planet which has disturbed the food chain and food web of the ecosystem.To exemplify, Vietnam war had resulted in lost of thousands of hectares of rain forest to acid use .Equally, rival competition on the use of the technology on the war has significant role in lowering in human population in turn urging imbalance on the harmony of natural phenomena. Therefore, adoption of technology is easier but solving problem caused technology has been ignored. In occasional cases, some events and summits are organised to tackle such problem but all those efforts are becoming fruitless as loss of ecosystem is gradual and only the major effect is a tip of iceberg but there are millions of minor effect cause of technology which every individual has ignored.

To recapitulate, ecological balance has immensely affected by the growing use of technology due to which ecosystem has altered gradually in inverse way which is almost inevitable to re-adjust again.

Votes
Average: 7.5 (2 votes)

the world had witnessed rapid advancement
the world had witnessed the rapid advancement

many serious environmental problems have been emerged which in near future, if not solved, is enough to imbalance of whole ecosystem in this Earth.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

all raw resources for the manufacturing of technology largely comes from the extraction of natural resources.
all raw resources ... come from the extraction of natural resources.

which is extracted by making great whole inside Earth's core,
which is extracted by making great ??? inside Earth's core,

furniture comes from the great destruction of long-aged trees which has resulted in the least recorded precipitation
Description: check books how to use 'which'

has played detrimental role
has played a detrimental role

Technology has not only consumed non-renewable resources and made this planet deficit of natural properties but also has abetted in degrading
Description: Not only...but also is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

Vietnam war had resulted in lost of thousands
Vietnam war had resulted in the loss of thousands

has significant role
has a significant role

ecological balance has immensely affected by
ecological balance has immensely been affected by

due to which ecosystem has altered gradually in inverse way which is almost inevitable to re-adjust again.
Description: check books how to use 'due to'.

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 381 350
No. of Characters: 2049 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.418 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.378 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.021 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.947 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.587 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.072 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5