In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.What are your opinions on this? (IELTS BO

Essay topics:

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.
What are your opinions on this? (IELTS BOOK 3 TEST 3)

Several advanced countries inhabitants believe children should be engaged in certain type of paid work to flourish their mental and physical strength moreover, to improve their knowledge’s and skills. However, today it is a controversial topic whether children ought to toil or not. But, I personally presume at certain age children should work and enhance their abilities for their better future development.

Firstly, many developed country's schools provides some especial type of courses for children under the age of 12 to 15; such as babysitting, helping mothers in the kitchen, housework and grocery shopping. All this responsible work helps teenagers to learn or take the responsibilities. Therefore, they will learn some life experience and skills which make them mature and aids to deal with many unusual situations. Additionally, they will also understand the value of money and able to organized it in a better way. For example, at grocery shopping they can learn how to make savings. Meantime, they also know their parents hardship for instant, in babysitting courses, teacher will teach them how to handle their younger siblings, which is very beneficial for both of them in the future. These types of small duties help them to be dependable.

Secondly, if young children take casual works like working at Mc Donald’s or café shops as a server then it will definitely help them to establish the leadership and also remove the barrier of communication in the society. Moreover, they can deal with everybody ineluctably and comprehend the real changes, for example, how to deal with the customer, how to calculate money and keep an eye on goods etc all this type of work make them liable. Additionally, work also makes them punctual.

However, other people deem young children under the age of 12 to 15 aren’t reliable to take the responsibility for dull work. In addition, they claim children mental and physical capacity are not much develop to derive the hard working tasks. Moreover, these tasks will directly affects on their studies and make them feeble in their educational areas. Likewise, certain people argue that children will be more money seduced and neglects their study for earning money or be exploited by the employers.

In conclusion, if the parents or school teachers guide children how to manage their time while doing outdoor work, then inevitably they will acquire more appropriate life style with maturity and be responsible in the community. Therefore, work is significant for children for ameliorate future success.

Votes
Average: 8.5 (2 votes)

Comments

Sentence: Several advanced countries inhabitants believe children should be engaged in certain type of paid work to flourish their mental and physical strength moreover,
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to countries and inhabitants

to improve their knowledge's and skills.
to improve their knowledge and skills.

many developed country's schools provides some
many developed country's schools provide some

children mental and physical capacity are not much develop to derive
children's mental and physical capacities are not much developed to derive

these tasks will directly affects on their studies
these tasks will directly affect on their studies

children will be more money seduced and neglects their study
children will be more money seduced and neglect their study

which make them mature and aids to deal with many unusual situations.
which make them mature and aid to deal with many unusual situations.

Sentence: Additionally, they will also understand the value of money and able to organized it in a better way.
Description: 'it' refers what?

Sentence: Meantime, they also know their parents hardship for instant, in babysitting courses, teacher will teach them how to handle their younger siblings, which is very beneficial for both of them in the future.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to parents and hardship

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2

Read a good grammar book.

Double check grammatical issues after the essay writing.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 412 350
No. of Characters: 2091 1500
No. of Different Words: 218 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.505 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.075 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.654 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.684 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.953 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.895 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.523 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5