( re-write)Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what way has technology affected the type of relationships people make?
Has this become a positive or negative development? (CB 8 T2)
In this twenty-first century the behaviour pattern of the people among each other have drastically changed with the evolution of technology. In this era, communication, travelling and work system have modified immensely. Moreover, technology has considerably impacted on interrelationships therefore, now people are more closer to each other comprehensively. However, in my opinion it has few negative with more positive features on the community.
Evidently, earlier the communication recourses were not much efficacious. That time there was solely limited source to talk, which was landline phone and writing letter. However due to advancement in technology thing has dramatically modified. Today we have distinct type of mobile's phone to chat. Simultaneously, the internet has also given numerous social webs and e-mails to commune with the push of one button. For instant, Facebook, Skype and emails communication system vastly covered therefore, the role of writing a letter is completely vanished. Hence, the traditional way of writing letter to our love one replace with the e-mails.
Secondly, due to mechanical improvement today world become global village therefore, today people can travel easily and ubiquitously.For example, several vigorous advance airplanes are available. So the barrier of long distance travelling is significantly narrowed. Currently, people can reach swiftly one place to other and meet their love ones in short period of time. Consequently, the technology has greatly alleviated miles and relationship gap.
Furthermore, with the aid of computers and Internet the working structure has also largely been amended . Today, people can smartly finished their office work therefore, the stress of work has gradually eluded from the society. And, individuals are spending more time with their families in these days. Eventually, the family bond stronger.
In conclusion, I personally believe that progressive technology has made life more comfortable, productive and adventures and people are more independent and assertive in their fields. Nevertheless, realistically, massive technology has made relationships intense and vivid in the society.
Comments
not able to understand that
not able to understand that point could your please give me any example for this statement.
Sentence: Today we have distinct type of mobiles phone to chat.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to mobiles and phone
It should be: mobiles' phone
It should be: mobiles' phone or mobile's phone or mobile phone
not 'mobiles phone' : a plural noun is not usually followed by a singular noun
i have fixed couple of
i have fixed couple of mistakes could you please re-check it
thing has dramatically modify.
thing has dramatically modified.
world become global village
world becomes global village
today people can easy travel ubiquitously.
today people can travel easily and ubiquitously.
So the barrier of long distance travelling significantly narrowed.
So the barrier of long distance travelling is significantly narrowed.
meet their love one’s in short period of time
meet their love ones in a short period of time
the working structure has also largely amended .
the working structure has also largely been amended .
I personally belief that
I personally believe that
Sentence: Today we have distinct type of mobiles phone to chat.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to mobiles and phone
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.905 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.389 7.5
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.046 0.07
Try this pattern to have better Coherence:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2:First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3:Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First
Para 4:Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 313 350
No. of Characters: 1769 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.206 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.652 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.07 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.905 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.389 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.278 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.497 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.046 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5