There are more advantages to studying abroad than disadvantages.To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Essay topics:

There are more advantages to studying abroad than disadvantages.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Nowadays, there is a growing tendency among some families to send their children abroad for a better education. In my view, this action brings more positive than negative effects to children .First of all, some countries such as the USA, Canada and Britain have very advanced educational system. Children studying there will receive a very good education. Secondly, living abroad will enrich their knowledge, broaden their minds and widen their horizons. It will help them in the understanding of other countries, both of the culture and the people.

Admittedly, studying abroad requires a considerable amount of money. The tuition fees, the living expense and the accommodation all cost a great deal. In addition, a child living abroad alone may suffer from loneliness.

However, the advantages of sending a teenager abroad for educational purposes far outweigh the disadvantages. They can study advanced technology and science, they can learn to speak a language fluently and their minds will be enriched. The problem is the age at which it is appropriate to send them abroad. If money permitting, I think the time after high school is the most suitable. At this time, they can live independently, and therefore learn something more effectively. Besides, teenagers at this age are considered mature enough and can learn to solve some practical problems such as finding a accommodation and cooking meals.

In conclusion, although sending children abroad may be expensive and can make them feel lonely, they have more merits than demerits, such as receiving very good education, enriching their knowledge and gaining better understanding of other countries. Therefore, I believe that parents send their children who are at the suitable age to study overseas is beneficial for children.

Votes
Average: 6.5 (2 votes)

Comments

flaws:
Don't start to develop your ideas from the introduction paragraph.

Try to focus on one idea in one paragraph like this.

Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.

Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).

Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing as First

Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing as First but shorter

Para 5: Conclusion.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 282 350
No. of Characters: 1463 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.098 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.188 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.739 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.415 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.515 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5