we are seeing a significant increase in online shopping today. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Give your opinion and relevant examples(revised version)

Essay topics:

we are seeing a significant increase in online shopping today. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Give your opinion and relevant examples(revised version)

Since 1994, the information highway has been dominating most sectors of the society, ranging from education to scientific research. Similarly, the rise of online shopping appears to pose a greater impact on people's daily lives. However, this development can cause both positive and negative influences, which would be discussed in this essay.

On one hand, there are two advantages that related to this phenomenon. The first point is that online shopping has increased people's living standards. As consumers can save more time on browsing the products and make the comparison of items if they make a purchase over the Internet. This is particularly true for modern working families who are generally occupied with heavy work-load and house chores, leaving little time for visiting shops. In addition to this, another advantage is that online purchasing creates more job opportunities. For example, the website, Amazon has offered thousands of positions in the fields of packaging, advertising and manufacturing, due to its business expansion.

On the other hand, critics argue that e-commerce should be responsible for the disappearance of traditional shops. Consumers can buy the same product on the website with a much lower price than the retail price, which makes it less possible for long-lived retail industry to survive from this unfair competition. Sociological findings report that there are six book shops are closed every week in the UK, as the result of the growing popularity of online stores, such as Ebay. Apart from that, people need bear the consequences if they ordered products on the website. More often the case, they will be having problems in exchanging or returning products if there is a flaw on the goods, which may violate the consumers' rights.

In conclusion, from the bright side of this phenomenon, shoppers can enjoy efficient purchasing services with this modern technology, while more jobs are created in order to feed more families. However, I believe customers need to be aware of their personal rights and governments should consider closely regarding the falling of the traditional retail industry.

Votes
Average: 9.3 (4 votes)

Comments

there are two advantages that related to this phenomenon.
there are two advantages that are related to this phenomenon.
there are two advantages related to this phenomenon.

flaws:
about 'which', are you sure it used correctly in the following sentences?

this development can cause both positive and negative influences, which would be discussed in this essay. //which refers to 'development' or 'influences'?

Consumers can buy the same product on the website with a much lower price than the retail price, which makes it less possible for long-lived retail industry to survive //which refers to 'Consumers' or 'price'?

they will be having problems in exchanging or returning products if there is a flaw on the goods, which may violate the consumers' rights. //which refers to 'problems' or 'flaw '?

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 338 350
No. of Characters: 1758 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.288 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.201 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.719 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.537 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.504 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.013 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

hi, testbig team, i got few questions here regarding the use of "which"

Consumers can buy the same product on the website with a much lower price than the retail price, which makes it less possible for long-lived retail industry to survive// Here, the "which" is refer to the whole sentence, because i think the Non-defining relative clauses can refer to the whole sentence