Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The only thing that hits my though when I was reading the book “obesity code”, was our health is the consequence of our choices. In the modern world, it is required us to be more careful because there are countless impacts that led us to wrong or deadly ones.
In old times, Advertisements were usually about some products or household tools as I remembered some not vividly but consciously. However, these days, it is divided into two groups namely medicine and snacks that might direct us to eat unhealthy food then use expensive drugs. Especially children, they have less control over their appetite and never know they are full or not because those high in sugar products do not fully emit satiety hormone from the brain. For example, In Mongolia, due to the reason that most caregivers, especially grandparents feed their children with sugary drinks without noticing the nutritional fact, obesity has increased by each year.
Nevertheless, it is not fair to blame advertisers or manufacturers because again it is our choices that threatening our children’s health condition. Hence, banning advertisements cannot be the best solution unless finding the root cause reason for obesity. Teaching and setting example is one of the must required skills of parents to their children because they learn almost everything from their parents. Therefore, taking control of our actions is the first thing to do to prevent unhealthy weight gain of our next generation. For instance, my daughter is not obese but, I know that eating highly processed and glucose-rich food headed us unwanted weight gain, and, for this reason choosing greens rather than highly processed food is my preference.
In sum, it is not an only individual role to avoid obesity but also the community has a great effort and neither banning advertisement nor setting example cannot be the only answer.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, nevertheless, so, then, therefore, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 13.1623246493 137% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 10.4138276553 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 24.0651302605 154% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 27.0 41.998997996 64% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1571.0 1615.20841683 97% => OK
No of words: 307.0 315.596192385 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11726384365 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18585898806 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74748700937 2.80592935109 98% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 176.041082164 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.628664495114 0.561755894193 112% => OK
syllable_count: 480.6 506.74238477 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 33.842363327 49.4020404114 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.916666667 106.682146367 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5833333333 20.7667163134 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.83333333333 7.06120827912 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.67935871743 46% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.124979572753 0.244688304435 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.041943407124 0.084324248473 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0256262403771 0.0667982634062 38% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0691861520552 0.151304729494 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0207884293783 0.056905535591 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 13.0946893788 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 50.2224549098 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 11.3001002004 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.4159519038 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.84 8.58950901804 103% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 78.4519038076 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.