An increasing number of the children are overweight could result many problems when they grow older both in term of their health and health care costs.why do you think so many children are overweight?what could be done to solve this problem?

Essay topics:

An increasing number of the children are overweight could result many problems when they grow older both in term of their health and health care costs.

why do you think so many children are overweight?

what could be done to solve this problem?

These days, there is a controversy surrounding the issue of the obesity among children throughout the globe. Some assert that being overweight would have detrimental effect on children health and also financial support of treatment will get them in the trouble in the future. I persistently support this idea, and in my personal view, children are involved in this issue in the view of the fact that now they not only enough physically active, but also they opt for intake of fast food.

On the other hand, when it comes to children, every one thinks of being vibrant and possessing great deal of energy, although the children of this era do not benefit of these qualities. It is widely said that there are some vital factors that have direct link with phenomenon. Of course, people generally put new technology such as computer games and internet first given that using excessive of these thing would readily contribute to particular sort of addiction. Hence, they are not any more enthusiastic about pursuing sport or traditional kind of activities that would end up with discharging calories. For example, according to the recent survey of the medical university of the Tehran seventy six percent of the children between ages ten and sixteen favor to play soccer by computer instead of playing in the sport centers. Therefore, it would wise of parent have an efficient control of their child rime of using technology.

On the other hand, fast food is a newcomer that easily filled the place of the main meals for the children that intensively lead to obesity among children. Recently, by advent of the commercials that popularizes this junk food through the media, children are more motivated to eat them. Not only would they exceed their weight constantly, but they would also squander a large amount of their money every day. For example, in case of m university assignment, i was asked to survey the money that fifty teenagers spend on buying fast food. Interestingly enough, the result shows that the amount of the money that they have spent on fast food during one month equals one fifth of their parent salaries.

In conclusion, in my personal view, the problem of obesity among children would be solved as long as long as parent would be more cautious regarding using technology and consumption of fast food. Finally , it is hope that following these policies would result in healthier and superior generation.

Votes
Average: 10 (3 votes)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 397, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this thing' or 'these things'?
Suggestion: this thing; these things
...net first given that using excessive of these thing would readily contribute to particular ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 693, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: seventy-six
...of the medical university of the Tehran seventy six percent of the children between ages te...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 459, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...le, in case of m university assignment, i was asked to survey the money that fift...
^
Line 7, column 91, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'as long'.
Suggestion: as long
... obesity among children would be solved as long as long as parent would be more cautious regard...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 204, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...gy and consumption of fast food. Finally , it is hope that following these policie...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, if, regarding, so, therefore, thus, for example, in conclusion, kind of, of course, sort of, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 10.4138276553 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 7.30460921844 192% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 24.0651302605 170% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 41.998997996 150% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2024.0 1615.20841683 125% => OK
No of words: 407.0 315.596192385 129% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97297297297 5.12529762239 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49157444576 4.20363070211 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58378907317 2.80592935109 92% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 176.041082164 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.538083538084 0.561755894193 96% => OK
syllable_count: 622.8 506.74238477 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.384769539078 260% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.76152304609 168% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 40.1961985143 49.4020404114 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.5 106.682146367 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4375 20.7667163134 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.5625 7.06120827912 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.181057309677 0.244688304435 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0565348163786 0.084324248473 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0456650808882 0.0667982634062 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112244324145 0.151304729494 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0228922938843 0.056905535591 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 13.0946893788 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 50.2224549098 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 11.3001002004 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.4159519038 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.64 8.58950901804 101% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 78.4519038076 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 9.78957915832 143% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.