In many countries children are becoming overweight and unhealthy Some people think that the government should have the responsibility what extent do you agree or disagree

Childhood obesity has become a typical sign of deteriorating public health on the world as a whole. While I agree that the government should have responsibility due to shortages of sports infrastructure and overloaded education curriculum, I also believe that it is the parents that should also share the duties because of their lack of time and poor choice of diet for their kids
On the one hand, the authorities should be responsible for this unhealthy trend because of various reasons. First, the authorities these days has given prior to economic developing and forgotten about consolidate children sports infrastructure. As a result, children opt to immerse theirselves in watching movie instead of taking part in outdoor activities in their freetime, which leads to high proportion of obesity in childhood. Second, with the overburdened school curriculum in some countries, children tend to stay at home doing nothing but complete their homework, which means less time for them with their exercising. Unless the school schedule for children is tailored by the government, this would axiomatically detrimentally affects their well-being.
On the other hand, the heavy responsibility also hinges on the parents. For one thing, parents are busy with their duties and not spend enough time on having more physical activities on a daily basis with their offsprings, which turns children into sedentary lifestyle and jeopardises their health. Also, an obese child is inextricably linked to excessive nutrients from their intake. Parents then should always keep an eye on what their children are eating and educate them about the long-term consequences of an unbalanced diet to deter their babies from eating unhealthy food. The government could not curb the children eating and exercising habits as well as their parents in these aforementioned situations.
All in all, I am of the opinion that not only the government but also parents should join hand in helping to curb the childhood obesity epidemic.

Votes
Average: 8.1 (8 votes)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 132, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this day' or 'these days'?
Suggestion: this day; these days
...various reasons. First, the authorities these day has priored to economic developing and ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 77, Rule ID: ONE_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use the numeral 'one' with plural words. Did you mean 'one thing', 'a thing', or simply 'things'?
Suggestion: one thing; a thing; things
...ibility also hinges on the parents. For one things, parents are busy with their duties and...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, so, then, well, while, as a result, as well as, for one thing, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 13.1623246493 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 10.4138276553 86% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 41.998997996 102% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1686.0 1615.20841683 104% => OK
No of words: 315.0 315.596192385 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.35238095238 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21286593061 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95539358157 2.80592935109 105% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 176.041082164 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.571428571429 0.561755894193 102% => OK
syllable_count: 509.4 506.74238477 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 81.2976356086 49.4020404114 165% => OK
Chars per sentence: 140.5 106.682146367 132% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.25 20.7667163134 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.16666666667 7.06120827912 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.67935871743 35% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 3.4128256513 176% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.135514382442 0.244688304435 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0487056414876 0.084324248473 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0306098972439 0.0667982634062 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0871259762669 0.151304729494 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0236462941864 0.056905535591 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.9 13.0946893788 129% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 50.2224549098 90% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.05 12.4159519038 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.79 8.58950901804 102% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 78.4519038076 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 21.5 9.78957915832 220% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 22.0 10.7795591182 204% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.