New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay topics:

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is true that the question of whether traditional way children spend leisure time has been altered by advances in technology. From my point of view, I believe that the benefits gained from technology improvements outweigh the drawbacks.
In the computerization era, the majority of children get used to using technology devices for an enormous number of activities including playing game, chatting, surfing the Internet, causing many detrimental impacts. The first one could be that those who regards computer as an integral part in their life would be discouraged real interaction as well as study distraction in school. Youngsters, for instance, are more likely to leave school earlier than other pupils with the aim of playing computer. Moreover, keeping eyes glued to screens causes some eye diseases and eye-strain. Children nowadays have too much exposure to amount of laze of computer, so, damaging physical health is more likely to be unavoidable.
Despite these disadvantages expressed above , I believe that there is a higher number of possible advantages. Young adolescents seems to have no difficulty to absorb considerable amount of knowledge because there is a variety of appealing methods delivering understandings to them. Young-aged students, for example, would be inclined to gain deep insight about daily life of dinosaurs through some video clips. In terms of globalization, gaining access to leading-edge technology is very useful for children to integrate into global community. As a result, these global citizens would get well-paid job and partly make a contribution to reduction of rate of unemployment.
In conclusion, development of technology bring more benefits than drawbacks in some ways when children decide to devote the time on it, which I entirely believe.

Votes
Average: 8.9 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 17, Rule ID: WHETHER[3]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: whether; the question whether
It is true that the question of whether traditional way children spend leisure ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 44, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...pite these disadvantages expressed above , I believe that there is a higher number...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, moreover, so, well, for example, for instance, in conclusion, as a result, as well as, it is true

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 13.1623246493 84% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 10.4138276553 19% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 15.0 24.0651302605 62% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 41.998997996 107% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.3376753507 120% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1520.0 1615.20841683 94% => OK
No of words: 278.0 315.596192385 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.46762589928 5.12529762239 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.08329915638 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.07955187116 2.80592935109 110% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 176.041082164 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.676258992806 0.561755894193 120% => OK
syllable_count: 479.7 506.74238477 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.1550062264 49.4020404114 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.923076923 106.682146367 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3846153846 20.7667163134 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.69230769231 7.06120827912 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.17316757618 0.244688304435 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0541110155354 0.084324248473 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0530559666171 0.0667982634062 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114293794445 0.151304729494 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0522006519006 0.056905535591 92% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 13.0946893788 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 50.2224549098 83% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.45 12.4159519038 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.79 8.58950901804 114% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 78.4519038076 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 9.78957915832 158% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.7795591182 139% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.