Hard times are something inevitable in life. Reacting to this, some people choose to accept the situation, while others attempt to improve their current situations. I personally agree that people have to struggle to overcome hardships, so that we can achieve a better outcome.
When bad situation happens, some people have tendency to accept it. Mostly, it is caused because people do not have enough willingness to get out from their situation. They are reluctant to give their best attempts because they have been comfortable with their current situations, although their comfort zone is actually a bad situation. Consider an example, where an employer is paid with unsatisfactory wages. Sadly, he does not struggle to get a better job, because he is too lazy to fulfill the needed requirements. He prefer to accept the current job, as long as he does not need to do extra attempts. As a result, his salary does not get increased, and he remains poor.
On the other hand, other people have different reaction toward the unfavorable situation. They struggle to search for better alternatives, although they should sacrifice many things, such as time and energy. For the example, a man actually already got a job and got paid by certain salary. But, after he get married and has children, his current wage is not enough to cover all of his outcomes. Facing this situation, he choose to get out of his comfort zone and try to be an entrepreneur, which is very risky for him because actually he stakes almost all of his money. As a result, he works very hard and sacrifice a lot of his time and his energy. Finally, his business is succeed and he can get out from the previous unwanted situation.
As a conclusion, struggling to improve an unfavorable situation is a better way to us as it will help us to get out from those unwanted situations.
Anyone has advices to
Anyone has advices to increase my score in this writing task 2? its hard :(
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
there are a lot of simple sentences, like:
They are reluctant to...
they have been comfortable...
he does not struggle ....
he is too lazy ....
He prefer to accept the current job,..
.....
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 319 350
No. of Characters: 1481 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.226 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.643 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.59 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.722 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.063 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.502 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.215 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
thank you..and also do you
thank you..and also do you think its better to include example that does not come from our own experience? I mean more like facts? Or is it okay to use our experience?
It is Okay to use personal
It is Okay to use personal experiences but better to use only one example, if not, you may have a lot of simple sentences.
More general arguments wanted.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 524, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'prefers'.
Suggestion: prefers
... to fulfill the needed requirements. He prefer to accept the current job, as long as h...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 305, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'gets'.
Suggestion: gets
...t paid by certain salary. But, after he get married and has children, his current w...
^^^
Line 5, column 422, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'chooses'.
Suggestion: chooses
...his outcomes. Facing this situation, he choose to get out of his comfort zone and try ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 676, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'succeeded'.
Suggestion: succeeded
...nd his energy. Finally, his business is succeed and he can get out from the previous un...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, finally, if, so, while, such as, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 7.30460921844 68% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 40.0 24.0651302605 166% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 36.0 41.998997996 86% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1534.0 1615.20841683 95% => OK
No of words: 319.0 315.596192385 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80877742947 5.12529762239 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22617688928 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72932218603 2.80592935109 97% => OK
Unique words: 160.0 176.041082164 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.501567398119 0.561755894193 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 479.7 506.74238477 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 5.43587174349 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 11.0 2.10420841683 523% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 16.0721442886 112% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.7240526686 49.4020404114 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.2222222222 106.682146367 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.7222222222 20.7667163134 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.33333333333 7.06120827912 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201114165714 0.244688304435 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0650283854615 0.084324248473 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0550960209669 0.0667982634062 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128425353781 0.151304729494 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0335917250082 0.056905535591 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 13.0946893788 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 50.2224549098 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 11.3001002004 77% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.32 12.4159519038 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.5 8.58950901804 87% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 78.4519038076 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.