Some people say that all young people should have full time education until they are 18 years old To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

As our world is becoming more and more modern, the need for acquiring new knowledge and skills is increasing day by day. Especially with the young people, they are the new generation that will run the society in the future. Therefore, it is essential for them to learn as much as possible. But will it be so important that they have to put everything in their lives aside?

Back to around 20 years ago in my country, when the adults were still little kids. According to what they told their offsprings, the most precious memory about their childhood is the days of joyfulness, where they didn't have to worry about homework or marks, all that mattered were what would they eat and play, what would make them happy. Just like that, before reaching the age of puberty, learning and schooling were not meant a thing to them.

So how have things changed nowadays? An image of a 4-year-old kid sitting at the table, reading and memorizing something that he doesn't even understand is quite easy to catch in both developed and developing countries. The fact which somehow is unacceptable but also can not be denied is that if children want to keep up with the world around them, they will have to start studying from an early age. While the others still don't know how to eat by themselves, those who carry the expectations of their family got no choice but to learn and learn all the time. From dust to dawn, 7 days a week, their whole existence is attached to the words and numbers, given no way out.

Things don't need to go this far. From the moment they learn how to stand by their legs till the day when they can walk on their own path is a very long period. They should have the chance to experience what is happening around them, rather than being locked in a room just to stick their eyes on the books. There is a story in China where a man spent his entire life studying, he didn't care about anything else because his mom covered everything for him. As a result, he got into a top University, but when the school found out that he lacks many skills that are necessary to live by himself, they banned him. And now, he is restarting his life all over, to become a "normal person". From the story, we can clearly see that: Achieving knowledge may be important, but the time to enjoy our life and learn about things that the books didn't teach us is also a basic need for everyone.

In conclusion, all children are diamonds in the rough. They need to encounter many things on their way to a full adult, more than just learning and studying. A sparkling diamond is the one that shines on any side of it, and so are we. Not only the children, we all, are still on the road.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 215, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...d is the days of joyfulness, where they didnt have to worry about homework or marks, ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 130, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...eading and memorizing something that he doesnt even understand is quite easy to catch ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 425, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...om an early age. While the others still dont know how to eat by themselves, those wh...
^^^^
Line 7, column 8, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...nd numbers, given no way out. Things dont need to go this far. From the moment th...
^^^^
Line 7, column 381, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... man spent his entire life studying, he didnt care about anything else because his mo...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 666, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...restarting his life all over, to become a 'normal person'. From the sto...
^
Line 7, column 843, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...e and learn about things that the books didnt teach us is also a basic need for every...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, so, still, therefore, while, in conclusion, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 13.1623246493 198% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 7.85571142285 178% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 10.4138276553 173% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 7.30460921844 246% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 60.0 24.0651302605 249% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 41.998997996 157% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2194.0 1615.20841683 136% => OK
No of words: 495.0 315.596192385 157% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.43232323232 5.12529762239 86% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71684168287 4.20363070211 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.33064780521 2.80592935109 83% => OK
Unique words: 266.0 176.041082164 151% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.537373737374 0.561755894193 96% => OK
syllable_count: 656.1 506.74238477 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.60771543086 81% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 5.43587174349 239% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 0.809619238477 618% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 16.0721442886 143% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.8396528402 49.4020404114 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.3913043478 106.682146367 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5217391304 20.7667163134 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.26086956522 7.06120827912 46% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.01903807615 139% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 3.4128256513 322% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.138274971632 0.244688304435 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0387278608704 0.084324248473 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0333572525297 0.0667982634062 50% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0799590568211 0.151304729494 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0141651230565 0.056905535591 25% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 13.0946893788 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 75.54 50.2224549098 150% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 11.3001002004 70% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.41 12.4159519038 68% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.13 8.58950901804 83% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 78.4519038076 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.7795591182 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.