Some people think that hard work and determination bring success. Others thtink other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
While many people often consider that hard work and determination is the key that leads to success, others believe that there are more essential factors, like money or appearance. This essay aims to discuss both viewpoints before presenting my own opinion.
On the one hand, there is no doubt that hard work and determination are important factors to achieve success because they not only bring more opportunities from employment but also help to sustainably develop personal skills and knowledge. In terms of employment, if an employee proves himself as a hard-working, resourceful, and enthusiastic person throughout your working time, the manager would obviously trust him more than others. Accordingly, the promotional chances could be given to him as an appraisal. As regards personal development, the determination to work hard could form numerous good characteristics that are crucial to accomplish any goal, such as self-discipline, resilience, and patience. Such good manners will not only help to continuously develop interpersonal skills and knowledge but also is a strong foundation for them to overcome many obstacles.
On the other hand, in this modern world, people tend to put more value on other factors, such as money or appearance, because they are efficient tools to shorten the way to success. This is to say that these factors could bring more opportunities to be successful. For example, the wealthy may invest money in studying abroad to widen their knowledge and gain a more competitive edge compared to poverty. Another example is that in an interview if a person is more easy-looking than others, he might have more chances to be employed even if his background is not as good as others. This often happens in certain jobs, such as receptionists or staff in beauty industries.
In conclusion, while hard work, determination or other factors, like money or appearance, are all important if a person wants to be successful, I believe that the hard work and determination are more important because they improve the personal value in a long term, which is a positive development in any circumstances.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 875, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...on for them to overcome many obstacles. On the other hand, in this modern world,...
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Line 5, column 672, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tionists or staff in beauty industries. In conclusion, while hard work, determin...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, if, look, may, so, thus, while, as regards, for example, in conclusion, no doubt, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 13.1623246493 137% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 10.4138276553 144% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 24.0651302605 108% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 41.998997996 86% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.3376753507 168% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1794.0 1615.20841683 111% => OK
No of words: 342.0 315.596192385 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24561403509 5.12529762239 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30037696126 4.20363070211 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.13892395735 2.80592935109 112% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 176.041082164 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.529239766082 0.561755894193 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 554.4 506.74238477 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 68.5241718679 49.4020404114 139% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.0 106.682146367 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.3076923077 20.7667163134 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.1538461538 7.06120827912 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.356558765322 0.244688304435 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.115549227931 0.084324248473 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0791621631614 0.0667982634062 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.226651273296 0.151304729494 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0330103519932 0.056905535591 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 13.0946893788 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 50.2224549098 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.47 12.4159519038 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.62 8.58950901804 100% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 78.4519038076 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 9.78957915832 143% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.7795591182 130% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.