Some people think that shops should not be allowed to sell food or drinks that are scientifically proven to be bad for people's health.Do you agree or disagree?

It is true that some people consider that foods and drinks would be discouraged to sell in shops.
while nobody can deny the negative of junk foods and drinks for consumer's health, I support that selling those will do more good than harm.
Those who advocate the idea of deterrent for consuming foods and drink in shop have their reason. Firstly, consuming junk food and drink like alcoholic beverage would put health in jeopardy by increase the risk of heart diseases or obesity. In fact, the media has revealed many instance of young generation have obesity due to over-consumption, which is a significant problem in society. It is not mention I that getting a item in shopping this very easy, even young people. This that mean, people, especially young people are able to use the kind of inappropriate drink like alcoholic beverage, pick-me-up beverages by the easy way, as a result the number of violence activity would increase lead to social unrest.
On the other hand, it is not to say that selling those in shop bring only negative impacts. The first thing I can mention is that serving food or drink in shop bring many convenient in life. For example, for busily individuals, using fast food from some shop near home instead of cooking by themselves may be the good way for saving time. Addition, there are many evidence show the increasing number of foods over the past decade. That by mean promoting food consumption in some place by shop, market help to accommodate market's needs, which is act as an incentive for economic development in any countries.
In conclusion, it is vital that the government should encourage more shop to serve items like foods, drinks come with appropriate policy

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: While
...would be discouraged to sell in shops. while nobody can deny the negative of junk fo...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 273, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun instance seems to be countable; consider using: 'many instances'.
Suggestion: many instances
...besity. In fact, the media has revealed many instance of young generation have obesity due to...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 421, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ciety. It is not mention I that getting a item in shopping this very easy, even y...
^
Line 4, column 359, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun evidence seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much evidence', 'a good deal of evidence'.
Suggestion: much evidence; a good deal of evidence
...ay for saving time. Addition, there are many evidence show the increasing number of foods ove...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 137, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ods, drinks come with appropriate policy
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, if, may, so, while, for example, in conclusion, in fact, kind of, as a result, it is true, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 13.1623246493 84% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 7.85571142285 102% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 24.0651302605 100% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 41.998997996 102% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.3376753507 120% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1418.0 1615.20841683 88% => OK
No of words: 291.0 315.596192385 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.87285223368 5.12529762239 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.13022058845 4.20363070211 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59354799157 2.80592935109 92% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 176.041082164 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.59793814433 0.561755894193 106% => OK
syllable_count: 442.8 506.74238477 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.2454086998 49.4020404114 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.076923077 106.682146367 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3846153846 20.7667163134 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.53846153846 7.06120827912 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.289925485592 0.244688304435 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100977276732 0.084324248473 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0788344240763 0.0667982634062 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.174705187608 0.151304729494 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0832777419873 0.056905535591 146% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 13.0946893788 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 50.2224549098 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 11.3001002004 95% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 12.4159519038 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.58950901804 99% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 78.4519038076 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.