Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same as as adults who commit crimes To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same as as adults who commit crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is said that criminals who are at their young age should have the same punishment as adults. However, in my opinion, I totally disagree with this point of view for several reasons.
First of all, young people are not capable of handling adults’ responsibility and the harsh life of adult prisons. People still in these young ages are not fully mature enough to understand the problems and the causes they have made. Because it is said that movies and other people’s actions could affect children, they might just mimic the behaviour of older adults whom they met, or from movies they have watched without knowing the last results. Furthermore, if they go into prisons as being punished like adults, they have to do jobs which require much energies, such as penal labour work; and this could reduce the growing rate of young people.
Secondly, this act might violate the children’s rights. Children under than 18 years old should be protected because they are not old enough to handle adults’ crimes. Young people are still under the care of parents and should be taught by other educational ways. In particular, in Vietnam, adolescents who murder don’t need to go to jail like older one does because of being immature. Instead of being imprisoned, they will study in training camps, where teachers could help them become a good citizen and fix their past faults. Furthermore, this group of people is the main future labor force to lead to the enhance of the economy of the nation, so they should study at schools to improve and develop their moral values rather than spending years in prisons.
In conclusion, there is no need for young adolescents who commit crimes go to prison like adults. They are not old enough to deal with adults things, and furthermore, there are more solutions to teach them to become a good resident again rather than having punishment.

Votes
Average: 4.9 (2 votes)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 552, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...lts, they have to do jobs which require much energies, such as penal labour work; an...
^^^^
Line 3, column 607, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
... the main future labor force to lead to the enhance of the economy of the nation, so they s...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, however, if, second, secondly, so, still, in conclusion, in particular, such as, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 13.1623246493 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 7.85571142285 153% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 10.4138276553 86% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 24.0651302605 108% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 41.998997996 107% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1562.0 1615.20841683 97% => OK
No of words: 320.0 315.596192385 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.88125 5.12529762239 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22948505376 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40012206721 2.80592935109 86% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 176.041082164 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.575 0.561755894193 102% => OK
syllable_count: 464.4 506.74238477 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.2221595127 49.4020404114 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.571428571 106.682146367 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8571428571 20.7667163134 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.14285714286 7.06120827912 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.9879759519 201% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.218952801229 0.244688304435 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0789625453344 0.084324248473 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0662748756296 0.0667982634062 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.137091769808 0.151304729494 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0244784449926 0.056905535591 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 13.0946893788 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 50.2224549098 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 11.3001002004 95% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.32 12.4159519038 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.38 8.58950901804 98% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 78.4519038076 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.