Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

As the complex society has been swiftly accelerating with the modern life, there has been a heated controversy among people about whether joining a sports team or participating in community activities or traveling is the best to make new friends. Some people hold the idea that participating in the community activities would reap greater benefits. From my perspective, taking part in sport team would be reasonable to enlarge social circle.

To begin with, unlike participating in community activities, people are more likely to seek friends who have something in common with them during doing sports. People with various ages can have very different interest in the community activities where they barely have the same topic to discuss. However, when it comes to sports, they, especially young adults, have an easier access to find their peers with the same hobbies and goal, which absolutely can encourage them to make friends with each other, thus promoting themselves to develop their own potential to achieve the goal. Thus, making friends in sport will help themselves to fulfill their goals persistently.

Furthermore, engaging in sports team enables people to not only strengthen their body, but also enrich their mind. Joining sports team is catalyst to let people take exercise frequently, which improve muscular and bone development, thus largely reducing the risks of various disease. For example, Shanghai where I am living, is usually freezing during winter, so I often catch cold. A friend of mine asked me to play basketball with him every day. As a result, I physically improved remarkably and were able to be contagious against disease. What’s more, I could devote all energy into my study, thus improving my study efficiency.

From what we have discussed above, a conclusion can be reached that joining sports team is the best way to make friends compared with travel spent plenty of money in accommodations and volunteering in the community activities consumed a vast amount of time in people whose ideas are different from yours.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
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...e reasonable to enlarge social circle. To begin with, unlike participating in c...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...s to fulfill their goals persistently. Furthermore, engaging in sports team ena...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...y, thus improving my study efficiency. From what we have discussed above, a con...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, so, then, thus, for example, as a result, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 43.0788530466 58% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1735.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 331.0 407.700716846 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.2416918429 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.26537283232 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74496529591 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.625377643505 0.524837075471 119% => OK
syllable_count: 538.2 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 9.59856630824 21% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 75.1402769791 48.9658058833 153% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.928571429 100.406767564 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6428571429 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.57142857143 5.45110844103 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.158302762747 0.236089414692 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0514206493702 0.076458572812 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0389356465335 0.0737576698707 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0994895358779 0.150856017488 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0273364689985 0.0645574589148 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 11.7677419355 128% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.41 10.9000537634 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.07 8.01818996416 113% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 10.002688172 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.