Do you agree or disagree with the following statement People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Nowadays, many people think people enjoy their hobbies because countries are developing and education level is increasing. But, I disagree with this opinion. On the contrary, people are unable to enjoy their hobbies because they have much more work to do. I will tell you my opinion with a reason.

First of all, if you look at the students, in the past, they used to go out and play because they did not have a lot of pressure to study. However, these days, they have a lot of money in their families and various academies, so students are very competitive. Therefore, they are stuck in school and academy and studying without having time to enjoy their hobby. For example, my dad could do well on the test at my age, but I have to take internet lectures, workbook, and school exam questions as well as school classes, so it can see that students have more work to do than before. The same goes for adults. There are so many adults who have specifications and live well in their field that they are constantly competing and stressed out, so there is not enough time for hobbies. As such, people regard hobbies as a waste of time because competition is so fierce today.

Second, the line between hobby and work is vague. These days, there are many people who do hobbies as a job. This may feel good, but there are many people who do not feel it as a hobby anymore because it turns to working. For example, a mukbang Youtuber once said that he enjoyed working because he liked to eat at first, but now that he is working, his interest in eating has disappeared.

This is why I disagree that people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do. Also, in the future, people will lose more and more time for hobbies.

Votes
Average: 8 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, may, second, so, therefore, well, for example, as well as, first of all, on the contrary

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 52.1666666667 67% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1472.0 1977.66487455 74% => OK
No of words: 326.0 407.700716846 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.51533742331 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24917287072 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.30837953039 2.67179642975 86% => OK
Unique words: 165.0 212.727598566 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.506134969325 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 464.4 618.680645161 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.8819276303 48.9658058833 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.5882352941 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1764705882 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.35294117647 5.45110844103 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.380915376261 0.236089414692 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120082810441 0.076458572812 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.172221549996 0.0737576698707 233% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.283683006307 0.150856017488 188% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.202789621688 0.0645574589148 314% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.4 11.7677419355 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.94 10.9000537634 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.49 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 86.8835125448 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.